News of the day

September 30/11.

In all the Burton Cummings excitement yesterday, didn't get to write some big Kevio news! After 40 days in a wheelchair, my cousin, Kevan Staples, actually took his first few steps using crutches yesterday! (naturally, it had to be on the ONE day I didn't see him!)

Carrie with cousin Kevan

My sister, Carrie came to visit Kev and do the evening's "wine run". He couldn't give Carrie a demonstration of his new skills, because he's only allowed to walk if he has two nurses to help him out. But after some physio, he'll be able to do it on his own. Congrats Kev! You're on the road to recovery.

Carrie's "wine delivery technique" was different from mine. Instead of Henkell on ice in an insulated lunchbag, she brought him a fine Merlot, which could have passed for acai-blueberry-pomegranate vitamin water! Good one Cayr! Cheers Kev! Variety is the spice of life! I'll see you later today. (Be prepared for a "crutches photo op")!!

Meanwhile, Kate and I completed another step in the ongoing "Ryerson wrap-up".

Walkway to the campus

Doorway to the bookstore

We spent about 45 minutes in a massive lineup here a few weeks ago, to return the textbooks she bought, (but now doesn't NEED), only to discover we didn't have the proper paperwork to prove she's no longer a student at Ryerson, so we were refused a reimbursement for her books.

Nearly three weeks after Kate made the decision to pull out of the university to pursue many other interests, we finally got the "release" letter in the mail. We drove BACK to the bookstore to SHOW them the letter so we could get the refund.

But when we got to the cash desk, we were advised the bookstore needed to keep a COPY of this letter (which we were never told). I asked the cashier if he could photo copy it for us, (since they're a university bookstore with plenty of photo copying machines), but he said he couldn't do that and asked us to walk down the street to the copy shop and come back AGAIN with a second copy for him to keep!
Ai yi yi. What a rigmarole. Bureaucracy sucks.

On the way out the door of the bookstore, just steps away, I saw this office! (But since Kate is no longer a student, guess they couldn't make a copy for us)! We would have paid for it! But instead, we went over to the photo copy shop where a kind man made a quick copy and didn't even charge us the 19 cents!

FINALLY, we were able to go back to the bookstore, present the paperwork for them to KEEP, and get a refund of nearly a hundred bucks for the books. (one of the books they refused to take back because it's their policy not to accept used books. This particular book was bought USED).

At this point, I was so steamed! Just HAD it with all the crap, so asked Kate to return the books while I stayed outside to cool down!! Ever since cancer, my level of patience is at an all-time low. I kinda feel like Charlie Sheen when he said, "I'm dealing with fools and trolls."

Or more to the point, (when Charlie was at his craziest) and quipped, "I have one speed. I have one gear. - GO"!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's ME these days - ONE speed - and everything IN me HATES it when somebody tries to slow me down!! Clear the decks and get OUT OF MY WAY!!!

I think I NEED this shirt!!

Reactions & responses

June 7/11

One of the most amazing things I've been hit with since my diagnosis on March 9th, is the outpouring of unique responses from friends and family members.

Anytime I've ever received news from someone that they have cancer, I've never known what to say, except perhaps, that I'm so sorry. Even now, after being affected by this disease myself, - STILL don't have a clue!

Having grown up in a family (and extended family) of unbelievably talented writers, and also having worked in the field of media and communications, I've been blessed with friends who have a phenomenal way with words.

I've posted bits and pieces of a few of these responses in other entries, but there is so much more. I hope these special people won't mind if I use some of their words. It's sure been eye-opening to me, knowing how much real affection is being tossed my way.

I love great writing and admire anyone with a flair for words or the gift of the gab. Lord knows, I try to keep up, but it's tough to compete with people like the ones I'll quote below, who contacted me after hearing my news.

Eric Posner - editor extraordinaire. Also a former "Globalite."
(he was responding to my fear when I thought I would lose a breast and all my hair due to chemo).

Eric Posner
"If you put the same kind of effort into beating this as you do in your normal routine you'll come out the other end with flying colours. Beat this thing whatever it takes. Physical appearances are transitory and those who really love and support you care about who you are not what you look like.

Remember, there are plenty of boobs in the world. Most walk on two feet and you've worked with.

I'm in your corner, always".
------------------------------------------------------
"What a f-ing great message Eric. Thank you so much.
I'm cryin' here.
I'll put you in the blog - (with your permission!)
Love you babe!
Elaine"
-------------------------------------------------------------
"Of course you can use it. (Like you really have to ask). I plan to be the boil on your buttocks for a long time so you better beat this. When Bill Cameron and my good friend Jeanne Robinson lost their fights that hurt immensely (still does) and you'll be worse, but that's never gonna happen.

Love and strong thoughts"


My parents-in-law

Ben & Jean Bornstein
ELAINE SWEETHEART: YOU WILL BE ALRIGHT! With God‘s help. We will all pray for you. What ever we can do for you - just ask. Tell us what you want and we can do it and we WANT to do it. We love you and we want to be beside you. Good health and a speedy recovery.
Mom & Dad


My sister-in-law, Carolyn, bro-in-law, Neil and their son, Adam

Carolyn, - "Prom Boy" Adam - and Neil Bornstein
"You have a tremendous support team surrounding you, in so
many ways. What a cheering section you have and that will truly lighten the load and brighten the road for this journey you're embarking on.

I love you and am so fortunate to have you for a sister.

I am truly heartbroken, but so amazed (again as always) by your determination, courage and strength. You're not going to let anything or anyone get in your way!! I salute you today and I'm sure I will again, in the many more days ahead.

Please keep in touch and call whenever you want someone to listen to you.
Carolyn"

"Elaine,
I am thinking of you all the time, praying and thinking positive thoughts. If there is anything that I can do to help you, Sam or the kids to ease your burden – anything, I am there for you.
Love,
Neil"


My fabulous cousin, Marilyn Kiewiet, (who encouraged me to do this blog), wrote to me after reading it.

My cousins Kevan Staples and Marilyn Kiewiet with their beautiful graduate daughter, Sacha! - She's going to be a new Mum any day now!

"I had some time on my lunch hour today to read all the entries and
look at all the marvelous photos and links...
I laughed, I cried and I was very touched by the brutal honesty in
much of the writing. This is such a perfect way for YOU to
center yourself and get through the more unpleasant bits of this
journey, while sharing with the world all the irresistibly wonderful
facets that are your lovable self.

As I read your words, your voice is so clear in my head, with the
phrasing and the capital words and the exclamation points...
It's all very moving and a wondrous thing to be able to share with
you in this way.

Just keep writing. It is a healing process in itself.

I firmly and unequivocally feel that you will come out of this with
newfound strengths and inspiration which will last you
the rest of your very, very long and happy life. It is very important
that YOU believe this as well.

I remember speaking to a woman a while ago about her journey through breast cancer and she said to me "I wouldn't have changed any of what happened. I met so many wonderful people along the way and learned so much about myself that it really was an amazing journey". Wow, how's that for a shift in perspective!

Lainey, you rock my world...!!!!!!

Much much love,
Marilyn"

From Carrie - (sometimes known as "Serenity Sis" - How could I EVER be getting through this without her?)

With Carrie, best sister on the planet!
"Eat well, sleep well, meditate, eat broccoli, try not to worry too much, depend on family, keep your sense of humour, talk to people who have been through it, stay positive, take baby steps.

I'm with you. Let others step up to the plate for you, as you've done for them. I love you and am sending calming vibes through the air.
Don't hesitate to ask me for anything, and Lee feels the same.

Big virtual, Uncle Ev hugs to you both, and Kate and Max.
Oh dear. I've been thinking about you all night. I'm feeling so drained to think you have to face this. It's hard to know what it all means.

Much as you wish Mum were here, she would have worried WAY too much! But I also know she would have cared so deeply. I'm sorry she isn't here for you. I'll try my best to be a surrogate".


Paul Nodwell (my sister, Carrie's partner), - landscape architect and phenomenal artist.

Carrie clowning with boyfriend Paul Nodwell

"There is more sunlight in the sky right now than clouds. Clouds come and go. They obscure reality and try to abscond with happiness. But they are fleeting and pass with a good fight from the winds. I think you have an entire army to help with that fight. Including me. Whatever. Whenever.
Paul"


One of my favourite responses of ALL came from my old radio/TV pal, Rob Davidson. We've known each other for over 30 years.

With Rob
"Well , fuck".

(that's Rob for you!)

To be fair to Rob, (who is a cancer survivor himself), he went on to say
lots of other good things, but I just love that immediate two word reaction!

And Rob's response prompted this comment from Eric Posner!

"Rob is way more eloquent that I am and he captures most everyone's sentiment".

Eric

Kim Gertler, (my very first TV producer and the guy who made sure I got the job of entertainment reporter at Global!)
After he learned the news, he promised to read the blog - and he DID! (for hours! - sorry about that Kim!)

Kim Gertler!
"Elaine,
I can't believe I read the whole thing...
Yep
Just read it all!
I laff
I cry
I curse you - kept me up all night!!
You are STILL a very gifted writer with a wonderful warm touch.
Warmed my heart ...but
Made me miss the old days - and seeing you every day.
LOVED the bikini shots...
and the thunderbirds, and the family shots,
the stuff 'bout your Dad and the early B & W pic of him
- I guess that's where (some of) your stunning good looks come from!
- and you guys wearing blankets
and...brings back lots of my own
memories...feelings, etc...
Also - You have an early diagnosis which means
YOU WILL BE FINE
(I know this!!)
That doesn't make it any easier - I know
but it IS TRUE
so there,
Love, luck and lollipops (?*)
Go get 'em!!!
Best,
Kim"


My old teen idol, Bobby Sherman, called me on the phone and left a message after hearing my news from my best friend, Franelle. I picked up the message and - SWOON!

"Peace & Love Babe!"

"Elaine, hi, it's Bobby Sherman calling. I just got a call from Franelle
and I wanted to send my regards and for everything that's going on,
some negatives in your life, and I understand that, my very best and
you shall overcome!
Franelle reminded me it's 41 years since we first met. Ouch! (laughs)
Anyhow, I hope everything's going to be OK and you hang in there.
I'm just sending you my love and you be well. Thanks Darlin'! Bye bye".


You can actually LISTEN to Bobby's phone message! Just press play.

Good pal Bruce Kirschbaum (Emmy award winning writer and married to my close friend, Joanne Silver), calls often to leave messages. This time, he was calling about the blog. (couldn't get better praise than THIS from a top TV scriptwriter!)

Funny pic of Bruce on strike when the writers walked off the job

"Hi Elaine, it's Bruce!
Just calling to tell you I've been keeping up with the blog - amazing work.
Really unreal! Great stuff. Love reading it, and more importantly,
wanted to let you know I was thinking about you and hope all is well.
Wanted you to know you're in my thoughts.
Huge, gigantic and gi-goondo amounts of positivism coming your way.
Love, from me and Joanne, and talk to you soon".


Vince Robinet (another friend and cameraman/editor who worked with me on hundreds of stories at Global over many years)

Vince & me

"Hi Elaine. Sorry to here of your diagnosis. It's troubling to hear when someone who has touched your life in such a positive way is having difficulty.

Luckily today we have so much more knowledge on the subject, giving a better chance for full recovery. Stay well Elaine and keep fighting"!

(Vince also commented when I asked if I could use the old pic of us when he had a pretty big moustache! - I've always LOVED moustaches!)

"Hi Elaine, great picture!. It's a good thing I didn't keep the mustache! Yes please use it. It's always nice to be photographed on the town with a pretty woman.

I've been following your progress and I'm glad things are looking up for you. Take Care my friend. You're one of the people who makes this world a great place.
Vince"


Larry Silver - we worked together for years at CFTR - fantastic newscaster - Now at 105.3 KOOL-FM/99.5 KFUN-FM in Waterloo

That's Larry in the middle, with Mark Paine and Kara Judge, the morning crew!

"Just read your posting on the Yellow Board...and felt compelled to write.
I wanted to wish you the very best in your health battle. Saw your pictures and my God Loring but you're so very lovely! Congratulations on your blog, I'll check in occasionally to see how you're doing.
Warmest Regards,
Larry"


Franc Mosbaugh - close friend, (and extended family member!) - Also a survivor!

(Left to right, Garth Mosbaugh, my sister Carrie & Franc Mosbaugh - Are they not all gorgeous?? - just LOOKING at them makes me happy - sigh)
"I can identify with how you must be feeling right now: scared, nervous, anxious, depressed etc., but I'm here to tell you, it's not a "death sentence" as one might expect with this diagnosis. That being said, there is no way to allay the fear one feels when faced with one's possible demise.

The 'C' word has come a long way from the taboo it used to be and now it's almost a club. The good news is that it seems you caught
this early and that's the magic word when dealing with cancer of any
kind. I'm sure this will factor in to how well you will respond to
treatment so, hold on to your great spirit and the support of your
amazing family (soooo lucky) and put your faith in the medical
community that will take care of you. Right now you are on the "front lines" of this battle so soldier on! We're right behind you".

Me with Franc and Carrie - plus everybody's favourite Ken doll, better known as "Ken Mossop!"

"I can't see some little lump getting the better of our "feisty" Lainey!

Get through what you have to but you will likely come out on the other side of it with a much more appreciative attitude towards life and living ... and it won't be too late for you to "get your life back" either. I'm sure that it will be just the opposite of that. In spite of the angst one goes through in the beginning, things seem to become clearer and easier to access; once you've learned to deal with the propositions placed in front of you.

The quality of our lives, as human beings, is dependent upon how we deal with the challenges life presents to us! How ever you are feeling right now, is completely a part of the process of grieving.
Hugs,
Franc


From Mary Spence-Thomas (sister of Franc)

The Mosbaughs! (left to right) - Garth, his son, Lee, Garth's bro Franc and sister, Mary

"PMH is an incredible hospital and there's a lot of support wherever you look and ask. Their library downstairs is definitely worth a look as they have videos and books on exactly what you want to know and they will go the extra mile to try to find it for you if it isn't there.
Oh Laine, I know this is a frightening thing, but how lucky you caught it when you did and the prognosis is good! It's going to be a trial to go through it all, but I think you've chosen a good route doing the lumpectomy and the really good news is that you now know what's happening, you're en route to fixing it and in no time at all it will just feel like a bad dream! It's wonderful that Sam is with you, taking notes, asking questions, helping to get a grasp on the significance of things as it's all so overwhelming.

Laine, I'm right around the corner from you and if you need someone to take you somewhere or do/get something for you, CALL ME...even on the spur of the moment! I'm very serious about that. I'm not only really familiar with the drill, but my time is somewhat more negotiable these days (working from home mostly). Sam or Carrie won't always be available so please consider this a serious offer. Have Car (and Heart), Will Travel.

Big big hugs to you for digging in and taking the bull by the horns. You are so much stronger than you think you are and you're doing very very well. Good going, Lainey!!
Love
Mary


My beautiful daughter Kate

With Kate on Mother's Day
"Mum,
I know this is a really tough time, but I admire you so much for how well you're dealing with it all. You're so brave and strong. Keep it up! Hope you have a rad Mother's Day & that you keep on WINNING"! xoxox

How could I NOT be "WINNING" with a team like mine!! Thank you everyone! (and a shout-out to my "blog mascot," Charlie Sheen!) Love to you all!

P.S. - One more thing. If you don't see your email here, it's not because I forgot you! Some of the messages I received were oh-so-special and personal, (a few I've practically committed to memory!), but just know how much they mean to me. Thank you for all of your heartfelt good wishes and love.
Tightest hugs.

Kids, drama and denim

May 22/11

So, my Canon camera is gone. Spent hours today driving back to all the places I went, retracing my steps, hoping to find it. Posted ads, made phone calls, talked to people in stores, visited the lost & found at The Bay, shops on Augusta Avenue, and ended up driving home, in tears. Someone has a great new camera now and I'll never even get to see the shots I took at Kate's concert yesterday.

The GOOD news is, Sam came through again in the crunch, (which is why he's so good at his job in crisis management). When I got home, he quoted my blog motto from the other day, "Move on!!" Once he came to terms with the fact that the camera is lost forever, he told me he'd made a decision. He'll give me HIS old one, (which is the same as the one I lost, so I'll be able to use it without "retraining!"), and will order a new one for himself. (We'll call it THIS year's wedding anniversary gift)! I'm SO happy to have a camera again. Thank you Sam, for putting up with a wife who endlessly loses things at the drop of a hat. (including hats).

In the meantime, I DO have video I shot at Kate's show at Aspetta in Kensington Market. She did a terrific performance (and was joined by her brother, Max, on a couple of numbers). The stage faces out towards the street noise (including motorcycles racing by), but the sound is still pretty good.

Kate is an expert at writing personal, real life drama in her songs. Each one opens you up to a world of crushes, dating, kissing, flirtations, the electricity of first love, angst and breakups.

One of my favourites is called Used To Be Mine. The first time she played it for me, of course I cried. I wondered how someone this young could have written lyrics so truthful, sad, painful and poignant. Then I remembered. Right. She's 19. (The time when all that intense drama unfolds and plays out, bigtime!)


Kate sings Used To Be Mine - At Aspetta - May 21/11
Guess I'm just a proud Mum, but I really feel that's a beautiful, heartfelt song. Later in the show, Max accompanied her for The Beatles'
I Should Have Known Better. Love it - (especially when they sing, "WHOA!!")


Max & Kate take on I Should Have Known Better - Aspetta - May 21/11

I have pretty amazing and talented kids.

Turning to my own situation - next week I'll be hitting Princess Margaret Hospital for several important appointments to assess my future treatment. For a long while, I was channeling Charlie Sheen's "Winning!" philosophy to keep me on track and feel in fighting mode against cancer. With everything coming up, I thought maybe I'll put aside the Sheen shirt for a few days. I need something new that resonates a little more in my soul. Women have often talked to me about "retail therapy". Not really my thing, but once in a while, you've just gotta have something new!

Have always loved denim, down & dirty, so went after it with a vengeance on Saturday and put a few items on plastic. I hated most of the stuff I saw, but finally found a couple of things to help "empower" me for next week. Kate took some shots to showcase the denim.

Trying out new Hue flare leggings - love them!

And new dark denim jacket (ready for my radiation closeup?)

Also bought a new MAC lipstick, which I'm wearing in the above pics. (had to laugh when I discovered the name of it is "Bombshell!")

Got a couple of other cute clothing items too. Will reveal them soon!
Now I still feel I'll be "Winning!" (even if Charlie isn't around). Where the heck IS he when you need him anyway? Just like the Cowardly Lion, I guess he hightailed it outta here for parts unknown. Catch ya later, Charlie!

Conflicted

April 27/11

Surgery day!

My two blog mascots, Charlie Sheen and the Cowardly Lion, are duking it out in my brain. Should I stay or should I go?

Since I want to live, I am going.

I will speak to you as soon as I possibly can. Thank you to one and all for the kind messages and all the love and support.

Ultrasound experience #2!

April 21/11

Upon arriving at Princess Margaret Hospital today, I immediately sought out the special easel. My new friend, Cynthia Mulligan of CITYNews told me to be sure to see it. Each day, there's a message written on the board to inspire the patients, family members and anyone else who passes by. Today's message said: Amends to others are very important. Amends to ourselves are essential. (Anne Wilson Schaef).

The ultrasound today turned out to be pretty intense. Moreso than the first one back in February. A lovely young woman named Emily was in charge of the procedure. Due to the pain in my breast, (which I’ve had since discovering the lump), it kind of hurt having the “wand” pressed down and rubbed all over the place. Nothing agonizing, but just not comfortable. Also, it went on for a longer time than the last one. This time, they really wanted to be sure they could see what was there and give good pictures, to assist Dr. McCready with the surgery next week.

I was surprised when Emily brought in another woman, a doctor, who
wanted to check the results and actually conduct some of the test herself. When it was over and I was still lying on the table, they explained to me that I’m a very unusual case, (what else is new?), saying the lump itself really doesn’t have the kind of look that a cancerous tumour usually does, and yet, cancer was found in the biopsy. They said I was extremely lucky the biopsy revealed the cancer, because there was no way an ultrasound would have led them to believe there was anything suspicious there. (I thought of my friend, Bruce Kirschbaum – see March 18th blog entry, who proclaimed, the third sample of tissue which found the cancer WAS the blessing! He was right!)

At one point, both ladies left the room. I was still lying there on the table, mind wandering, when what comes pouncing into my brain? Something my old high school friend, Jeffrey had emailed me the night before. Having gone through much pain in his life (and then reading my whining fears about pain issues), he sent the following message:

"You kids don't know how lucky you have it now. Back in my day they just gave you a shot of Old Rotgut and a bullet to bite on before they dug in with whatever they could find that was vaguely sharp and not too rusty!"

All alone, in that stupid gown, I burst out laughing and couldn't stop. It's amazing how so many of the things people have said to me come into play at the least likely, and often most inopportune times. LOVE it! Keep 'em coming gang!

When the ladies returned, I was asked to sit in the waiting room while yet another doctor checked the pictures, in case they needed to repeat anything, but they didn’t and I was able to leave. Once I got down to the lobby and was about to go home, something very strange happened to me. I think Charlie Sheen’s Violent Torpedo of Truth suddenly struck my soul and I went all-over-Sheeny. I’ll explain this in the next entry! (Many of my aggressive, combative reporter pals may recognize these all-encompassing symptoms and relate).

Going all Sheeny!

April 14/11

Charlie Sheen is in town to perform tonight!
A lovely friend gave me a fabulous gift of a black "Sheen shirt" with his picture plastered on it and the massive word - WINNING! (my new philosophy for getting through all this crap).

I'm going out for a while now, so think I'll change into it and check out the kind of reaction it gets! EPIC WINNING!

Hope the Canuck crowd is kind to Charlie. They'd BETTER be. We all know what can happen if he goes all Sheeny on them! Yikes!


Lain goes Sheeny!

Later - seems Charlie got mixed reviews. Come on people. He MUST have been entertaining! "One speed, one gear - GO"!!!!

"I'm Batman!"

"Poof! - You're a gadfly!"


Sheen sends up HIMSELF! Simply hilarious!

Charlie Sheen

March 4/11

Lucky I have the Charlie Sheen saga to keep me entertained through all this. WINNING! Epic winning! Bi-winning!
The Charlie song was just what I needed to send me into hysterics (thankfully laughter, not tears).



Had hoped to get biopsy results by today, (since the doc said there was a slight possibility it could happen), but nope.
Gotta get thru the weekend without knowing.