MRI - Once more with feeling!

February 12/12.

Once again, days seem to have fallen thru the cracks around here. Time really does fly by sometimes when there's a lot to do and many demands on time. (but it's better than being bored! I actually don't comprehend the meaning of that word).

The long-awaited second MRI was scheduled for this afternoon. (wore something easy to zip on & off!) Thank goodness for hoodies! Why another MRI just ten months later? Might as well be honest. After the post-surgery lumpectomy/Sentinel lymph node biopsy pain finally disappeared around October, (yay!), it suddenly returned again in early December, (boo!), in exactly the same place as before and freaked the living hell out of me. 

Less than a month ago, paid a visit to the experts at Princess Margaret and they decided another mammogram and ultrasound should be done, but both tests were inconclusive. (same result as the first time, a year ago). For the record, this mammogram (again), showed absolutely nothing. (If I'd done no other tests, the cancer wouldn't have ever been discovered). Man, this dense breast tissue thing really wreaks havoc with the mammogram machine!

The Docs told me the soreness might be caused by fat necrosis (delightful) or by scar tissue, - OR, something else that I don't want to HEAR about. But they want to be sure. (So do I). - Another MRI was scheduled. Looks like I'll need another biopsy soon too. (where they take anywhere from two to five samples to be checked). Am I scared? You bet.

Back to my old stompin' grounds this afternoon. Had to explain all over again about the lower back pain I have that that doesn't allow me to lie on my stomach unless I have towels or pillows underneath me. They were very accommodating and got me well situated on the table, so my back didn't hurt at all. Had to get an IV line inserted for contrast dye and then lie there, without moving a muscle for what they said would be about 30 minutes. Turned out to be an hour, at least.

Good grief. Back in the old horrible double gown look. Gak.  (no WONDER the sign says WARNING!!)

EVEN I WANTED to go running for the exit!

Whew. Happy THAT'S over. Sam & I made several stops on the way home, including one at Shoppers to pick up Calcium/Magnesium  and Vitamin C for me - (who knew I'd be buying that stuff one day)?, -  plus some Valentine cards! (for VERY special people), and then - Subway sandwiches. Haven't had one in decades, but TODAY was the day for it! I split my coldcuts-concoction-on-wholewheat-bun with Kate - laced with lettuce, tomato, cucumber and black olives. Have to admit, it was great! She said the same. NOW all I have to do is get MRI results. Drum roll please!

Taking my mind off ALL of it with the Grammys. 

Ultrasound experience #2!

April 21/11

Upon arriving at Princess Margaret Hospital today, I immediately sought out the special easel. My new friend, Cynthia Mulligan of CITYNews told me to be sure to see it. Each day, there's a message written on the board to inspire the patients, family members and anyone else who passes by. Today's message said: Amends to others are very important. Amends to ourselves are essential. (Anne Wilson Schaef).

The ultrasound today turned out to be pretty intense. Moreso than the first one back in February. A lovely young woman named Emily was in charge of the procedure. Due to the pain in my breast, (which I’ve had since discovering the lump), it kind of hurt having the “wand” pressed down and rubbed all over the place. Nothing agonizing, but just not comfortable. Also, it went on for a longer time than the last one. This time, they really wanted to be sure they could see what was there and give good pictures, to assist Dr. McCready with the surgery next week.

I was surprised when Emily brought in another woman, a doctor, who
wanted to check the results and actually conduct some of the test herself. When it was over and I was still lying on the table, they explained to me that I’m a very unusual case, (what else is new?), saying the lump itself really doesn’t have the kind of look that a cancerous tumour usually does, and yet, cancer was found in the biopsy. They said I was extremely lucky the biopsy revealed the cancer, because there was no way an ultrasound would have led them to believe there was anything suspicious there. (I thought of my friend, Bruce Kirschbaum – see March 18th blog entry, who proclaimed, the third sample of tissue which found the cancer WAS the blessing! He was right!)

At one point, both ladies left the room. I was still lying there on the table, mind wandering, when what comes pouncing into my brain? Something my old high school friend, Jeffrey had emailed me the night before. Having gone through much pain in his life (and then reading my whining fears about pain issues), he sent the following message:

"You kids don't know how lucky you have it now. Back in my day they just gave you a shot of Old Rotgut and a bullet to bite on before they dug in with whatever they could find that was vaguely sharp and not too rusty!"

All alone, in that stupid gown, I burst out laughing and couldn't stop. It's amazing how so many of the things people have said to me come into play at the least likely, and often most inopportune times. LOVE it! Keep 'em coming gang!

When the ladies returned, I was asked to sit in the waiting room while yet another doctor checked the pictures, in case they needed to repeat anything, but they didn’t and I was able to leave. Once I got down to the lobby and was about to go home, something very strange happened to me. I think Charlie Sheen’s Violent Torpedo of Truth suddenly struck my soul and I went all-over-Sheeny. I’ll explain this in the next entry! (Many of my aggressive, combative reporter pals may recognize these all-encompassing symptoms and relate).

Breast ultrasound

April 21/11

Off to Princess Margaret Hospital this morning for my first procedure. It's a breast ultrasound. Since I've had one before, not worried about it, since I know it doesn't hurt. However, it's a strange feeling. Any other time I've visited PM Hospital, it's been to accompany someone else. This time, the person with cancer is me. I'm going to look for the easel (which Cynthia Mulligan of CITYNews told me about), which has a different inspiring phrase written on it each day. Want to see what it says today as I embark on this new phase of my life. Will write it here later.

Mammogram & ultrasound

February 17/11

Went to the Spadina/College clinic for the mammogram and breast ultrasound. The ultrasound was conducted by a man named Ken. The nice woman who did the mammogram was asked to sit in as my "escort" during the procedure. Ken had a tough time with the ultrasound, telling me I have something they refer to as "breast mice"! This means the lump moves around and they have to "chase it" in order to get a good image. When it was over, (I heard they don't usually tell you anything), but one of them said, "Well, there's SOMETHING there. It's not NOTHING you're feeling." They also told me it didn't exactly seem like cancer but then again, didn't exactly seem NOT like cancer either! Great. It was decided I should go for a core needle biopsy. The soonest appointment I could get was March 8th, but I asked to be put on the waiting list for March 1st.

Can't wait any longer

February  15/11

Eleven days since "the discovery" and the pain is still very much there. I've often heard that breast cancer lumps don't usually involve pain, so I'm hoping for the best. But why is this pain going on so long? I called my GP and asked if I could get in right away to see her. Got an afternoon appointment and told the Doc about the pain and the lump. She checked and could definitely feel it. She gave me a requisition for a mammogram AND an ultrasound. I told her I already have an appointment for a mammogram for March 4th, but I would try to find someplace to do both tests together, and hopefully sooner. I was frightened when I read my doctor's notation on the requisition which stated, "Nodularity in right breast." Didn't sound good. Then, my brain went into comic mode. My son loves old reruns of M*A*S*H, and I suddenly thought of Father Mulcahy saying his famous word, "Jocularity! Jocularity!", and imagined him wandering through the 4077 proclaiming, "Nodularity! Nodularity!" (I know, I'm weird).

Called the Medvue Medical Imaging Yonge/Davisville lab, (where the mammogram was booked). Was told they have two other locations and I could try calling the other labs to ask if there was anything sooner.
Called the second one (Edward Street location), but nothing until much later in March. Finally, called the College/Spadina Medvue lab and got the nicest woman on the phone. Told her my problem. She suggested it would be best if these two tests could be done together. I said that's what I want, but so far, no luck. She put me on hold for a minute, then came back on the line to tell me she had an appointment for me for BOTH tests, one after the other, on February 17th - just two days away! WINNING!! Booked them and then called the Davisville lab back to cancel the original mammogram.