Reactions & responses
June 7/11
One of the most amazing things I've been hit with since my diagnosis on March 9th, is the outpouring of unique responses from friends and family members.
Anytime I've ever received news from someone that they have cancer, I've never known what to say, except perhaps, that I'm so sorry. Even now, after being affected by this disease myself, - STILL don't have a clue!
Having grown up in a family (and extended family) of unbelievably talented writers, and also having worked in the field of media and communications, I've been blessed with friends who have a phenomenal way with words.
I've posted bits and pieces of a few of these responses in other entries, but there is so much more. I hope these special people won't mind if I use some of their words. It's sure been eye-opening to me, knowing how much real affection is being tossed my way.
I love great writing and admire anyone with a flair for words or the gift of the gab. Lord knows, I try to keep up, but it's tough to compete with people like the ones I'll quote below, who contacted me after hearing my news.
Eric Posner - editor extraordinaire. Also a former "Globalite."
(he was responding to my fear when I thought I would lose a breast and all my hair due to chemo).
"If you put the same kind of effort into beating this as you do in your normal routine you'll come out the other end with flying colours. Beat this thing whatever it takes. Physical appearances are transitory and those who really love and support you care about who you are not what you look like.
Remember, there are plenty of boobs in the world. Most walk on two feet and you've worked with.
I'm in your corner, always".
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"What a f-ing great message Eric. Thank you so much.
I'm cryin' here.
I'll put you in the blog - (with your permission!)
Love you babe!
Elaine"
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"Of course you can use it. (Like you really have to ask). I plan to be the boil on your buttocks for a long time so you better beat this. When Bill Cameron and my good friend Jeanne Robinson lost their fights that hurt immensely (still does) and you'll be worse, but that's never gonna happen.
Love and strong thoughts"
My parents-in-law
ELAINE SWEETHEART: YOU WILL BE ALRIGHT! With God‘s help. We will all pray for you. What ever we can do for you - just ask. Tell us what you want and we can do it and we WANT to do it. We love you and we want to be beside you. Good health and a speedy recovery.
Mom & Dad
My sister-in-law, Carolyn, bro-in-law, Neil and their son, Adam
"You have a tremendous support team surrounding you, in so
many ways. What a cheering section you have and that will truly lighten the load and brighten the road for this journey you're embarking on.
I love you and am so fortunate to have you for a sister.
I am truly heartbroken, but so amazed (again as always) by your determination, courage and strength. You're not going to let anything or anyone get in your way!! I salute you today and I'm sure I will again, in the many more days ahead.
Please keep in touch and call whenever you want someone to listen to you.
Carolyn"
"Elaine,
I am thinking of you all the time, praying and thinking positive thoughts. If there is anything that I can do to help you, Sam or the kids to ease your burden – anything, I am there for you.
Love,
Neil"
My fabulous cousin, Marilyn Kiewiet, (who encouraged me to do this blog), wrote to me after reading it.
"I had some time on my lunch hour today to read all the entries and
look at all the marvelous photos and links...
I laughed, I cried and I was very touched by the brutal honesty in
much of the writing. This is such a perfect way for YOU to
center yourself and get through the more unpleasant bits of this
journey, while sharing with the world all the irresistibly wonderful
facets that are your lovable self.
As I read your words, your voice is so clear in my head, with the
phrasing and the capital words and the exclamation points...
It's all very moving and a wondrous thing to be able to share with
you in this way.
Just keep writing. It is a healing process in itself.
I firmly and unequivocally feel that you will come out of this with
newfound strengths and inspiration which will last you
the rest of your very, very long and happy life. It is very important
that YOU believe this as well.
I remember speaking to a woman a while ago about her journey through breast cancer and she said to me "I wouldn't have changed any of what happened. I met so many wonderful people along the way and learned so much about myself that it really was an amazing journey". Wow, how's that for a shift in perspective!
Lainey, you rock my world...!!!!!!
Much much love,
Marilyn"
From Carrie - (sometimes known as "Serenity Sis" - How could I EVER be getting through this without her?)
"Eat well, sleep well, meditate, eat broccoli, try not to worry too much, depend on family, keep your sense of humour, talk to people who have been through it, stay positive, take baby steps.
I'm with you. Let others step up to the plate for you, as you've done for them. I love you and am sending calming vibes through the air.
Don't hesitate to ask me for anything, and Lee feels the same.
Big virtual, Uncle Ev hugs to you both, and Kate and Max.
Oh dear. I've been thinking about you all night. I'm feeling so drained to think you have to face this. It's hard to know what it all means.
Much as you wish Mum were here, she would have worried WAY too much! But I also know she would have cared so deeply. I'm sorry she isn't here for you. I'll try my best to be a surrogate".
Paul Nodwell (my sister, Carrie's partner), - landscape architect and phenomenal artist.
"There is more sunlight in the sky right now than clouds. Clouds come and go. They obscure reality and try to abscond with happiness. But they are fleeting and pass with a good fight from the winds. I think you have an entire army to help with that fight. Including me. Whatever. Whenever.
Paul"
One of my favourite responses of ALL came from my old radio/TV pal, Rob Davidson. We've known each other for over 30 years.
"Well , fuck".
(that's Rob for you!)
To be fair to Rob, (who is a cancer survivor himself), he went on to say
lots of other good things, but I just love that immediate two word reaction!
And Rob's response prompted this comment from Eric Posner!
"Rob is way more eloquent that I am and he captures most everyone's sentiment".
Eric
Kim Gertler, (my very first TV producer and the guy who made sure I got the job of entertainment reporter at Global!)
After he learned the news, he promised to read the blog - and he DID! (for hours! - sorry about that Kim!)
"Elaine,
I can't believe I read the whole thing...
Yep
Just read it all!
I laff
I cry
I curse you - kept me up all night!!
You are STILL a very gifted writer with a wonderful warm touch.
Warmed my heart ...but
Made me miss the old days - and seeing you every day.
LOVED the bikini shots...
and the thunderbirds, and the family shots,
the stuff 'bout your Dad and the early B & W pic of him
- I guess that's where (some of) your stunning good looks come from!
- and you guys wearing blankets
and...brings back lots of my own
memories...feelings, etc...
Also - You have an early diagnosis which means
YOU WILL BE FINE
(I know this!!)
That doesn't make it any easier - I know
but it IS TRUE
so there,
Love, luck and lollipops (?*)
Go get 'em!!!
Best,
Kim"
My old teen idol, Bobby Sherman, called me on the phone and left a message after hearing my news from my best friend, Franelle. I picked up the message and - SWOON!
"Elaine, hi, it's Bobby Sherman calling. I just got a call from Franelle
and I wanted to send my regards and for everything that's going on,
some negatives in your life, and I understand that, my very best and
you shall overcome!
Franelle reminded me it's 41 years since we first met. Ouch! (laughs)
Anyhow, I hope everything's going to be OK and you hang in there.
I'm just sending you my love and you be well. Thanks Darlin'! Bye bye".
Good pal Bruce Kirschbaum (Emmy award winning writer and married to my close friend, Joanne Silver), calls often to leave messages. This time, he was calling about the blog. (couldn't get better praise than THIS from a top TV scriptwriter!)
"Hi Elaine, it's Bruce!
Just calling to tell you I've been keeping up with the blog - amazing work.
Really unreal! Great stuff. Love reading it, and more importantly,
wanted to let you know I was thinking about you and hope all is well.
Wanted you to know you're in my thoughts.
Huge, gigantic and gi-goondo amounts of positivism coming your way.
Love, from me and Joanne, and talk to you soon".
Vince Robinet (another friend and cameraman/editor who worked with me on hundreds of stories at Global over many years)
"Hi Elaine. Sorry to here of your diagnosis. It's troubling to hear when someone who has touched your life in such a positive way is having difficulty.
Luckily today we have so much more knowledge on the subject, giving a better chance for full recovery. Stay well Elaine and keep fighting"!
(Vince also commented when I asked if I could use the old pic of us when he had a pretty big moustache! - I've always LOVED moustaches!)
"Hi Elaine, great picture!. It's a good thing I didn't keep the mustache! Yes please use it. It's always nice to be photographed on the town with a pretty woman.
I've been following your progress and I'm glad things are looking up for you. Take Care my friend. You're one of the people who makes this world a great place.
Vince"
Larry Silver - we worked together for years at CFTR - fantastic newscaster - Now at 105.3 KOOL-FM/99.5 KFUN-FM in Waterloo
"Just read your posting on the Yellow Board...and felt compelled to write.
I wanted to wish you the very best in your health battle. Saw your pictures and my God Loring but you're so very lovely! Congratulations on your blog, I'll check in occasionally to see how you're doing.
Warmest Regards,
Larry"
Franc Mosbaugh - close friend, (and extended family member!) - Also a survivor!
"I can identify with how you must be feeling right now: scared, nervous, anxious, depressed etc., but I'm here to tell you, it's not a "death sentence" as one might expect with this diagnosis. That being said, there is no way to allay the fear one feels when faced with one's possible demise.
The 'C' word has come a long way from the taboo it used to be and now it's almost a club. The good news is that it seems you caught
this early and that's the magic word when dealing with cancer of any
kind. I'm sure this will factor in to how well you will respond to
treatment so, hold on to your great spirit and the support of your
amazing family (soooo lucky) and put your faith in the medical
community that will take care of you. Right now you are on the "front lines" of this battle so soldier on! We're right behind you".
"I can't see some little lump getting the better of our "feisty" Lainey!
Get through what you have to but you will likely come out on the other side of it with a much more appreciative attitude towards life and living ... and it won't be too late for you to "get your life back" either. I'm sure that it will be just the opposite of that. In spite of the angst one goes through in the beginning, things seem to become clearer and easier to access; once you've learned to deal with the propositions placed in front of you.
The quality of our lives, as human beings, is dependent upon how we deal with the challenges life presents to us! How ever you are feeling right now, is completely a part of the process of grieving.
Hugs,
Franc
From Mary Spence-Thomas (sister of Franc)
"PMH is an incredible hospital and there's a lot of support wherever you look and ask. Their library downstairs is definitely worth a look as they have videos and books on exactly what you want to know and they will go the extra mile to try to find it for you if it isn't there.
Oh Laine, I know this is a frightening thing, but how lucky you caught it when you did and the prognosis is good! It's going to be a trial to go through it all, but I think you've chosen a good route doing the lumpectomy and the really good news is that you now know what's happening, you're en route to fixing it and in no time at all it will just feel like a bad dream! It's wonderful that Sam is with you, taking notes, asking questions, helping to get a grasp on the significance of things as it's all so overwhelming.
Laine, I'm right around the corner from you and if you need someone to take you somewhere or do/get something for you, CALL ME...even on the spur of the moment! I'm very serious about that. I'm not only really familiar with the drill, but my time is somewhat more negotiable these days (working from home mostly). Sam or Carrie won't always be available so please consider this a serious offer. Have Car (and Heart), Will Travel.
Big big hugs to you for digging in and taking the bull by the horns. You are so much stronger than you think you are and you're doing very very well. Good going, Lainey!!
Love
Mary
My beautiful daughter Kate
"Mum,
I know this is a really tough time, but I admire you so much for how well you're dealing with it all. You're so brave and strong. Keep it up! Hope you have a rad Mother's Day & that you keep on WINNING"! xoxox
P.S. - One more thing. If you don't see your email here, it's not because I forgot you! Some of the messages I received were oh-so-special and personal, (a few I've practically committed to memory!), but just know how much they mean to me. Thank you for all of your heartfelt good wishes and love.
Tightest hugs.
Labels: Bobby Sherman, Bruce Kirschbaum, Carolyn, Carrie, Charlie Sheen, Eric Posner, Franc Mosbaugh, Kate, Larry Silver, Mary Spence-Thomas, Neil, Paul Nodwell, Rob Davidson, Vince Robinet
posted by Elaine Loring @ 12:01 p.m.
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