Ka-BOOM!!

August 8/11.

An old friend of mine, Kim Gertler, (my very first TV producer at Global TV), was chatting with me via Facebook pop-up the other day. He never fails to make me laugh. I was trying to explain to him about Intensity Entity. How it, (he?/she?) never lets up. All energy, all the time. Kim! We need to go out for a beer!

Kim is a fabulous guy. Funny, original, smart. Without him, I never would have gotten the job as entertainment reporter. He coached me big time. Helped me do my first-ever standup, and pushed like hell to get me hired. It worked and I was there for the next 18 years! Thanks Kim. Will always love you.

Anyway, told Kim that I.E. is part energy, part adrenaline, part hormones and part sexuality - and I have NO clue what to do about it. His spontaneous answer to me in pop-up message form, was, "Embrace the vixen within!" LOL. Kim was ALWAYS great with a headline. I told him, sometimes, this force is SO outta control, I feel like Wile E. Coyote with the TNT, in the Roadrunner cartoons - about to go
Ka-BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!

So, when Carrie & I went out together today, couldn't believe it when she parked her car and we looked across the street and saw a fireworks company staring us in the face. HAD to get her to take a shot of me with the sign. (and I've made it my Facebook status pic too!) - Ka-BOOM is my new favourite word!!

We weren't LOOKING for this. Just happened. As so many things do. Today, Carrie & I were heading to Of Things Past. It's a consignment outlet, up around Yorkdale, which accepted many items from Mum's house to sell. We've been wanting to SEE this place for a long time, and today was the day. And all I can say is, "Oh my God!" We were practically in tears over the beauty of the showroom!

Filled Carrie's car with items and drove on in.

Only to find THIS, when we walked in!!! (Click to enlarge!!)

When we hit upon this area, we thought we had stepped into our grandparents' place, Century House. So many beautiful pieces!

Carrie & I were like two kids in a candy store!!

We found Mum's green & white floral antique dishes still for sale!

And her silver tea set too, - no longer black, but polished to a gleaming shine!!

Just wish we could bring Auntie Ray (interior designer extraordinaire) to the showroom. She's been there before, of course, but she needs to see THIS collection. SO stunning. Carrie ended up buying a set of three gorgeous candlesticks.

As for me? With everything I've inherited from Mum, didn't buy any items of decor, but, they were also selling fancy chocolate. Bought a package of four pieces of milk chocolate bark with almonds. Carrie & I shared them. Nothing like decadent chocolate in the middle of a showroom like this!

I mean, what else can I say but, Ka-BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gettin' it done

June 24/11.

Hours up at the "hidey hole" today. Since we can't get an extension on the closing date for Mum's house, it's going to be a mad dash to the finish line on July 7th. (not to mention, my radiation treatments will likely start before that date!) Crazy days. Will find out soon. (NEVER a dull moment, as usual!)

When I pulled up at the house, the movers we hired to take the antiques to the "Of Things Past" showroom were there, working away, loading the truck. Awwwwwwww. They were taking Mum's beautiful vanity dresser and mirror. The one she used every day of her life.

Carrie got this cool shot of the dresser and her own reflection, waving a fond farewell. Love it!

The guys are movin' it on out the door!
I think the men were a bit taken aback when I asked if I could shoot pictures of them "for the blog"! I'm driving everyone nuts with this thing! - (but I don't care. I'm having a blast!)

Arby & Hilary from Arby Cartage and Moving Inc. (Hilary seems concerned about the ditzy blonde taking his photo. Can't say I blame him) - But I'll give you guys a good "blog plug"!

Waving goodbye to Mum's special things.

By the time Hilary & Arby took off, we were friends. I gave them the blog address so they can see their pics later! Thanks guys! - Arby Cartage rules!
Spent the rest of the afternoon with Carrie, wrapping all kinds of things, from broken glass (to protect the garbage men when they pick it up!), to more items for Goodwill, to a few special treasures for Auntie Ray. Moved tons of books upstairs from the basement to the livingroom shelves. Next, have to call a book person to collect them. Mum had SOOOOOOOOO many books. It's hard to part with them. In fact, when I went to drop off her old set of encylopedias at Goodwill, (the ones we used as kids), I got as far as the front door, stopped, set them on a chair for a sec, then Carrie happened to call on the way to the ballpark with Lee. She asked where I was. Told her I was in the Goodwill parking lot, standing there in tears, unable to part with the friggin' set (which Mum bought in the '50s!) Each and every edition has several yellow sticky notes inside, which she put there to mark "the important stuff." The first book I grabbed to look at, had a bookmark at World War II. Just couldn't seem to get my feet to walk inside to donate them. Carrie told me, "Keep them in the car for now!" (till we decide what to do). So I did. - Great. - Now I have a full set of 1950s encyclopedias in my trunk. I'm an idiot. (what else is new?)

Anyway, onward to tell you about the rest of the day. Ran out of newspaper to wrap stuff. So, drove over to my parents-in-law's condo, four blocks away, and collected what THEY had!

Mum & Dad B had plenty of newspapers & packing material for us! Can always count on them!
Also had to decide about our Mum's favourite teddy bears.

Something tells me, these little guys aren't going anywhere either!

Not to mention, Mum's favourite birds (who whistle!)

Hey, we still have 13 days to decide what to do with all these special things! Hang in there little birds!
By the time I got home, my daughter, Kate was all ready to go out for "anti-prom!" She and her friends aren't into "prom", so invented their own event to protest the real thing. She was wearing her fabulous new sparkly blue dress - and her boyfriend, Damian was all decked out. I took this shot and was happy it turned out so well. They're both stunning!

So adorable!

Happy anti-prom! Have fun!
Meanwhile, my son, Max, was watching Stepbrothers and playing video games with his good friend, Ben in our den. I'm tellin' ya, Ben is hilarious and I'm predicting - on his way to a BIG career, whatever he chooses to do!

They were yelling at me, "NIGHTHAWK!!!!" - one of the characters in the video game they were playing.
As for me? Back home, (with major league humidity hair), hanging out, wondering what the heck will happen over the next 13 days till closing?????

It's been a long day. - And (lucky) 13-more-to-come. Adios everybody. Talk soon! Have a fabulous weekend!
Hey! - P.S. - 10:20 p.m. - "BONUS TRACK"! - The whole anti-prom crew just dropped by the house. YAY! I get to see everybody! Here's a pic I took of the gang.

(left to right) - The fabulous Cadence & Matt, incredible Kate & Damian, amazing Arena & Emily! - Love you all!

Emotion overload

June 23/11

As Carrie & I get down to the "final crunch" at Mum's place, our emotions are running OUTTA CONTROL! (thanks, again, Regis Philbin - stop YELLING at me!) - To my husband Sam, and to Carrie's partner, Paul - if you're reading this, I know you're laughing your heads off, saying, "And THIS situation is different from any other day HOWWWWWWWWW?") Well, it IS different. The end of an era is on the horizon. And we don't like it one bit.

Crazy mess in Mum's livingroom as we wrap and pack up everything. Sigh.

Gorgeous antique Wedgwood dishes. Originally belonged to our grandparents in their fabulous shop, Century House, north of Lindsay - (you know, Lindsay? - The Twilight Zone??)

Some of Mum's best antique glassware

Will it ever end? - Take it Bart! - "Ai Carumba"!

Carrie can ALWAYS take a sad situation and "lift it" up! - Thanks Cayr!!
I told Carrie all about my experience yesterday with the therapist, (and her many pointed questions to me, covering the gamut)....hmmmmmmmmmm, lemme think now, - drugs, sex, rock & roll, alcohol, obsessions, "Intensity Entity", guilt, pain, fear, anxiety, panic attacks, blogging, "impulse shopping", (lol - since this is SO not an issue. Sam made me laugh when he heard about this and responded, "You take six hours to pick out a t-shirt at Zellers!"), family, friends, relationships and on and on. Hearing everything dredged up by the therapist triggered a conversation with Carrie about our Mum. Closing down her house, getting rid of it all, not fun. I told the therapist YES on the word guilt. Big time. Have suffered, (and am STILL suffering), plenty of that following Mum's horrible, unexpected death, which never should have happened the way it did.

For Carrie, the subject today was more centered on betrayal. I get that. Completely. Somehow, "ditching" all of Mum's precious treasures, seems as though we're betraying her. I told Carrie, - but we're NOT. We're doing what she would have WANTED us to do. We've been SO careful, selecting special items to pass on to family and friends, what to send to Goodwill, which - (more valuable things), should go to Of Things Past - (antiques showroom), what toys to put out on the street for neighbourhood kids to take for free and to enjoy and on and on. We HAVE to trust our own instincts and judgment and to know that what we're doing is EXACTLY what Mum would have wanted. Despite going forward the best we can, it hurts, it's painful and, yep, KILLER emotional.

"Cinderella" here, by the fireplace, saying goodbye to ALL the antique "utensils." Thanks for the many gorgeous fires you helped launch!
Next? Our friend, beautiful Tina Nodwell arrived. (sister of Carrie's boyfriend Paul). She and her partner, Bill, rented a truck to cart away lots of things they purchased to help furnish their brand new country place.

Bill got EVERYTHING loaded into the truck...and THEN......
Carrie's boyfriend, Paul, showed up! Hoo haw! - Just in time! (not!)

He shouted, "Did I miss all the heavy lifting?" (the answer? - Yes!) Paul's response?? - "GOOD!"
But at least, Paul WAS in time for a family "blog photo op!"
(left to right - Bill, Tina, Paul, Carrie)

There goes the truck. Bye furniture! Enjoy your new life!
Still, lots more goodies left, including Beethoven!

Before wrapping up the day of packing, Carrie said we should remove the linens from Mum's bed. Gak. Didn't think it would be a big deal, but after years of stripping that bed and doing her laundry, hadn't anticipated any tears. Wrong. Last time.

Once more with feeling. (But THIS time, no laundry. Just goodbye).

That's a wrap for tonight.

Whatever gets you thru the night

June 21/11

I don't think I ever completely GOT John Lennon's full message when he sang, "Whatever gets you through the night, - 'salright, 'salright."

I THOUGHT I did, but now I realize I couldn't totally relate to it, till receiving the cancer diagnosis more than three months ago. NOW, I do. I get it John.



Astounding sometimes, what the fear of cancer can do to you. Don't even want to SAY what's gotten ME thru the night sometimes, but lemme tell you, (as Kramer might say to Seinfeld), "It's OUT there Jerry! It's OUT there! And I'm LOVIN' it!!"

(Here's KRAMER's actual version of these thoughts! Fantastic!)



Getting thru the night can be as SIMPLE as talking to my kids, or watching them laugh and play video games with the people they're in love with.

How could you NOT get thru the night after seeing THESE beautiful, laughing faces in the den? (left to right) - Damian, Kate, Robyn, Max. They all bring such a vibrancy to the house and to my life!
Or, it can be as COMPLEX as the intricacies of spending months clearing Mum's house, getting rid of her treasured belongings, putting the house on the market and saying goodbye to everything. It can also be a million other wild and wacky things somewhere in BETWEEN simple and complex.

Luckily, SOME old friends (and, of course, family members), GET what I'm going thru and simply roll with all the punches. Maneuvering the winding roads of the medical world, dealing with the emotional ups, downs, highs, lows, (on TOP of the "Mum stuff"), can leave you a little loopy. Ya think?? - Doh!

I have one newer friend whose very funny and extremely original blog concepts helped inspire my own. I didn't know him, but started reading his blog a few years ago, (back when I WANTED to launch a blog, but had NO clue what to write about). That changed, when I found out I had cancer. (then, I suddenly KNEW what to write!)

He lives far away, so we only speak (and laugh) on line. When I talk to him, no matter what state I'm in, it somehow feels, - All's right with the world, and I can breathe again. (That's what humour can do for you - ERASE bad days, give you the courage and frame of mind to keep moving forward). Can't wait to see what craziness he has in store tonight, but bring it on!

Another friend plays me music on line. He has access to a dozen different music servers and can locate ANY piece of music I request within 30 seconds. Impressive! Last night, I tested him again, and asked for Lionel Richie's "Hello" - (among other oldies), and it popped up on Facebook almost immediately! He is well connected! And the song was just as beautiful as I remembered it to be. Music helps a lot.



On top of that, just to shake things up a bit, I spoke to an "old friend" (or, I THOUGHT it was an old friend), but turned out to be a chef in the Yukon whom I've never met, - with the same NAME as an old friend! (what the hell??) He stumbled upon my blog out of the blue. (or maybe it was my Facebook, not sure). But even the bizarre nature of this "surprise" made me laugh and helped "get me thru the night"! Salright. You just never know what's around the corner! (And anyway, I got his secret recipe for pasta!)

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, (as Ben Cartwright used to say at the Ponderosa on Bonanza), let's get back to reality! Oh. Do we HAVE to??

Carrie and I hooked up today with Doreen, buyer from the antiques showroom known as Of Things Past!

She may have been a bit taken aback by the assorted junk she first encountered on the lawn, but once inside Mum's house, we were thrilled that she accepted almost all of the beautiful antique items we offered to be sold on consignment.

Above, are some of Mum's best antiques, handed down from our grandparents' shop, Century House, north of Lindsay. Mum would love the fact that someone else will eventually own and take care of these very special items.

More of the antiques, plus a gorgeous piece - a dresser, also from Century House. It's too stunning to let go of. Carrie is going to keep it.

Mum always called her silverware her "prized possession." - Now off to Of Things Past.
After antiques specialist Doreen took off, it was up to US to wrap things, box them up and have them delivered to the showroom.

Everything was going pretty smoothly, till Carrie had to bag up all of Lee's old stuffed animals from his childhood years. I'M the one most often in tears, but not this time. Ai yi yi. (Cayr...sorry to say, but I'm glad it's YOU once in a while! - You know, I KNOWWWWWWWWW the feeling!) How could I EVERRRRRRRRRRR have come "thru the night" without you?? Impossible.

She's SURROUNDED! Saying goodbye to some old friends. (Think I'll call my music pal tonight and ask him to play for me The Bee Gees' - "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart"?? - knowing him, he's already got it lined up for me!)


P.S. - One of the toys we came across was the "Horshshack doll" - (of Welcome Back Kotter fame!) Man, I loved that show!

Original Horshack doll! So cute!
I used to ADORE Ron Palillo! (hah hah hah!...can't do the famous laugh...only HE can!)



With Carrie in tears, I had to be the one to pack the stuffed animals into my car to be delivered to Goodwill. Bye guys! Be good!

On the way to drop off the stuffed animals!

Thinkin' about what might get me thru the night....TONIGHT!