Lain's Log

Emotion overload

June 23/11

As Carrie & I get down to the "final crunch" at Mum's place, our emotions are running OUTTA CONTROL! (thanks, again, Regis Philbin - stop YELLING at me!) - To my husband Sam, and to Carrie's partner, Paul - if you're reading this, I know you're laughing your heads off, saying, "And THIS situation is different from any other day HOWWWWWWWWW?") Well, it IS different. The end of an era is on the horizon. And we don't like it one bit.

Crazy mess in Mum's livingroom as we wrap and pack up everything. Sigh.

Gorgeous antique Wedgwood dishes. Originally belonged to our grandparents in their fabulous shop, Century House, north of Lindsay - (you know, Lindsay? - The Twilight Zone??)

Some of Mum's best antique glassware

Will it ever end? - Take it Bart! - "Ai Carumba"!

Carrie can ALWAYS take a sad situation and "lift it" up! - Thanks Cayr!!

I told Carrie all about my experience yesterday with the therapist, (and her many pointed questions to me, covering the gamut)....hmmmmmmmmmm, lemme think now, - drugs, sex, rock & roll, alcohol, obsessions, "Intensity Entity", guilt, pain, fear, anxiety, panic attacks, blogging, "impulse shopping", (lol - since this is SO not an issue. Sam made me laugh when he heard about this and responded, "You take six hours to pick out a t-shirt at Zellers!"), family, friends, relationships and on and on. Hearing everything dredged up by the therapist triggered a conversation with Carrie about our Mum. Closing down her house, getting rid of it all, not fun. I told the therapist YES on the word guilt. Big time. Have suffered, (and am STILL suffering), plenty of that following Mum's horrible, unexpected death, which never should have happened the way it did.

For Carrie, the subject today was more centered on betrayal. I get that. Completely. Somehow, "ditching" all of Mum's precious treasures, seems as though we're betraying her. I told Carrie, - but we're NOT. We're doing what she would have WANTED us to do. We've been SO careful, selecting special items to pass on to family and friends, what to send to Goodwill, which - (more valuable things), should go to Of Things Past - (antiques showroom), what toys to put out on the street for neighbourhood kids to take for free and to enjoy and on and on. We HAVE to trust our own instincts and judgment and to know that what we're doing is EXACTLY what Mum would have wanted. Despite going forward the best we can, it hurts, it's painful and, yep, KILLER emotional.

"Cinderella" here, by the fireplace, saying goodbye to ALL the antique "utensils." Thanks for the many gorgeous fires you helped launch!

Next? Our friend, beautiful Tina Nodwell arrived. (sister of Carrie's boyfriend Paul). She and her partner, Bill, rented a truck to cart away lots of things they purchased to help furnish their brand new country place.

Bill got EVERYTHING loaded into the truck...and THEN......

Carrie's boyfriend, Paul, showed up! Hoo haw! - Just in time! (not!)

He shouted, "Did I miss all the heavy lifting?" (the answer? - Yes!) Paul's response?? - "GOOD!"

But at least, Paul WAS in time for a family "blog photo op!"
(left to right - Bill, Tina, Paul, Carrie)

There goes the truck. Bye furniture! Enjoy your new life!

Still, lots more goodies left, including Beethoven!

Before wrapping up the day of packing, Carrie said we should remove the linens from Mum's bed. Gak. Didn't think it would be a big deal, but after years of stripping that bed and doing her laundry, hadn't anticipated any tears. Wrong. Last time.

Once more with feeling. (But THIS time, no laundry. Just goodbye).

That's a wrap for tonight.

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At June 24, 2011 at 12:55 a.m. , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hard day indeed. Thanks for the sum-up. Well, as Joni Mitchell once penned "Laughing and Crying, You know, it's the same release". A good day's work, and yet getting more painful as we reach the end of this era. See ya tomorrow for more of same! xo
ps I'm signing "Anonymous" as it won't let me put my name.......which is CARRIE, by the way!

At June 24, 2011 at 1:39 a.m. , Anonymous Elaine Loring said...

This friggin' blog comment board. NO ONE seems to be able to write without trouble. But, I know it's YOU. See you in the "hidey hole!" (NOW, let's see if I can respond on my OWN blog!!)


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