Lain's Log

Dazed & Drained

June 22/11

Well, THIS day didn't exactly go the way I thought it would! (although, to tell the truth, really had NO idea how it might actually unfold!)

For weeks, have had this appointment lined up with a therapist at Princess Margaret Hospital. Back in early May, was having tons 'o trouble dealing with circumstances WAY beyond my control. My new friend, Cynthia Mulligan, (of CITY TV, - who underwent breast cancer surgery and treatment just a few months before mine), told me she thought I might benefit from a few sessions with a therapist, and that if I got a referral, it would be covered by OHIP. Decided it was a wise suggestion, so, "The Nutty Professor" - (my medical oncologist) referred me and I got an appointment, - but not for a month.

Taken just outside the hospital this afternoon, immediately following my "session" and blood work, - (hence, the bandage) - As you see, rather dazed & drained, - as today's blog entry "title" says.

During the month away from hospital, things improved quite a bit, so wasn't sure WHAT to say at the appointment today. Do I "start at the very beginning" - (like, my Dad leaving the family home when I was 4?) - or do I just tell her about this crazy year, losing Mum, my Uncle Ev, my Mum-in-law having heart surgery, clearing and preparing to sell our Mother's house and then, the sudden cancer diagnosis and surgery?

Won't bore you with the details - (since, if you read this blog, you already know!) Told the Doc about "Intensity Entity", - the racing heart and thoughts, weight loss, etc. Afterwards, her ideas? - Stop - (or curtail), writing of the blog, and take anti-psychotic medication. (her words, -"NOT because you're psychotic, but to slow you down a bit and help you get some rest").

So, I've had 8 LONG years of looking after my Mum, not being able to write anything of a creative nature, (the way I did for my entire radio/TV career of 25 years). FINALLY got excited about writing something unique - putting feelings into words, making some people laugh, sharing it all with folks who actually respond/write to me/comment, and now, I'm supposed to just STOP? - And take drugs? WTF??

Will have to think about all of this. I considered not saying ANYTHING here tonight, - but because my ENTIRE goal since starting the blog, has been to "Tell it like it is," - (no holds barred), - I'm DOING it. Maybe SOMEBODY out there might relate to, or understand, what I have to say.

The Doc then sent me for further bloodwork - thyroid stuff and other tests outside of the usual CBC, (complete blood count). She'll get results tomorrow and will let me know if there's anything unusual. Who knows?

Left the meeting not knowing if this is helpful or if I should continue seeing a therapist. Wandered into the Princess Margaret gift shop and spotted a book I thought I'd like to buy for my daughter, Kate. On sale for 4 bucks.

Kate is interested in astrology and signs, so thought she might like this book. Had to laugh when I got it to the counter and the cashier asked me, (EXACTLY like that character Kristin Wiig plays in those hysterical Target store sketches on SNL), "Do we have any MORE of these??" - I almost lost it altogether! - Told her, yes, there are more, and she said, "Could you GET me one please?" Turned around, (laughing), grabbed another copy and passed it to her.

(This is the only decent bit I could find on YouTube that shows Kristin in action as the Target lady. It's somebody else's attempt to imitate it, but is kinda funny! Man, do I ever MISS SNL during the summer!)

After the long appointment, - (yakking it up & revealing info galore), I was glad to finally head off to my son, Max's recital with his girlfriend, Robyn. - Guess I'm feeling lucky! After posting the Jason Mraz song, "Lucky" TWICE over the past week or so, (featuring the amazing Wes Taylor & Matt Doyle version of the song), HAD to go watch Max and Robyn perform that same number in a local church basement tonight! - They did GREAT!!

Max and Robyn performing "Lucky"

Just before their show, parked my car and waited for them at the corner of Broadview & Browning. Looked up, and there they were. Sigh. So in love.

Max & his sweetheart, Robyn

What a weird day. I'm actually tired. (you don't think "Intensity Entity" has been killed off, do you?)

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