Lain's Log

I'll do it!!

March 23/11

By now, everybody must be sick to death of my fears. (Well, if you can't take hearing about fear, log on to somebody else's blog who's courageous! You ain't gonna find much courage 'round here).

I've never been good with the unknown or with pain. It amazes me to know that some people are! To give you an example, from age 4 to age 18, I cried and cried, every single Labour Day Monday, petrified about going to school the next day on Tuesday. (I always said the back-to-school Tuesday after Labour Day, "SMELLED nervous out"). My poor Mum would hear me, every year, paralyzed with fear about returning to school. I was practically sick with anxiety, even if it was the same school, new grade. ALWAYS hated the unknown. WHY IS THIS?

Then, one Labour Day night, (wish I could recall how old I was), Mum said to me, "There comes a time for courage!" (if you've been following this blog, you'll be laughing here).

My Mum's comment didn't help much at all. (sorry Mum). I still cried my eyes out (just like the Cowardly Lion), but NOW, all these years later, I think back to SO many times when Mum had to call upon her OWN courage to go forward into all those awful surgeries.

I'm trying hard to lean on those words she said to me way back when, and perhaps even "borrow" her courage, to push and propel myself through this journey. Good Lord. If SHE could do, I can do it.
(and as my son, Max often says, "I'LL DO IT!!!!")

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