White Choral Bells and fear

March 16/11

Some days I feel OK. Other days, I just want to scream. Today, I'm in a horrible state, mad at the fucking world. I'm about to go all "Sheeney" on everyone, so look out.

Woke up in the morning with a song running over and over in my head. It's a song I haven't thought about in decades. Mum used to sing it with Carrie and me as a roundelay when we were kids. Why do I think of it now? Here are the words.

White choral bells upon a slender stalk
Lilies of the valley deck my garden walk
Oh, don't you wish that you could hear them ring,
That will happen only when the fairies sing.

Don't know if Mum was trying to tell me something, but just hearing this song in my mind was making me cry. I'm wishing fairies could wave their wands and make this all go away. Then, after making that wish, my brain visualizes a tidal wave crashing into me.