Lain's Log

Bruce Kirschbaum

March 18/11

I have an amazing friend named Bruce Kirschbaum. Have known him for over three decades. I first met him when I went to Provo, Utah to visit my best friend, Franelle Silver, who was working there as a comedy writer on the Donny & Marie show. Bruce was also one of the writers. Little did I know then, he would hook up with Franelle's sister, Joanne, (my other lifelong pal), marry her, and that we would be in and out of each other's lives forever. Thank God.

Bruce is brilliant and hilarious. He may not agree with this comment, but he's always reminded me of Woody Allen. He's a bit neurotic, (like Woody), is every bit as hysterically funny as Woody and even, (in my opinion!) looks a little like him.

Bruce Kirschbaum with his pal Larry David

After Donny & Marie, he went on to write and produce for shows including Seinfeld, Everybody Loves Raymond, The Ben Stiller Show and many others. He's also an Emmy award winner (for the Stiller show).

When he learned of my diagnosis, he began calling me and our conversations would go on for at least an hour every time. This is a man who can talk about ANYTHING, no matter WHAT you bring up. I've often whined that the art of conversation is dead, but Bruce could teach a course on it. There is simply NO dead air. I HATE dead air. That is a non-existent concept when you talk to Bruce.

His creative mind has been so helpful to me during this scary time. Once, when I complained and kvetched to him about my diagnosis, he surprised me. I had told him I sent up a prayer, talking to my Mum, Uncle Ev and my grandparents, asking if they could help to make things turn out well for me and that anything the doctors find would be benign. (our family has joked for years that my Gram had a "hotline to heaven"). Then, when the diagnosis came in - CANCER. Thanks gang.

Bruce told me he had to hang up, go away and think on this, but that he would call me back. I didn't expect he would, but half an hour later, he did, and told me he'd figured it out.

He said, "The mammogram showed nothing, right?" I said, "Right."
He went on, "The ultrasound was inconclusive, correct?" I said, "Yes."
And then commented, "And the core needle biopsy involved three tissue samples. Two of them showed nothing and the third, showed the cancer, right?" I responded, "Yes."
Bruce then told me, "THAT is the blessing!! They found the cancer in the third sample! If that hadn't happened, you never would have known about it. The fact that they found it, is the answer from your family."
I said, "You think?"
He snapped back, "Absolutely!"

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