Lain's Log

Dreams and nightmares

March 21/11

D-Day! (as in - DR. DAVID McCready day!)

Woke up, after a wild and wacky dream. I was in my old house. I thought I heard some noise around the side door - a bird squawking and some scratching or something. Went around to the side and was extremely startled to see an ape, climbing up the wall of the house. When he saw me, he ran away into the backyard. Then I noticed the side door was open and I was FREAKING that someone must have broken in. I walked gingerly up to the door and peaked in. What I saw, was THREE lions! They caught sight of me and started to walk towards me. I turned around to hightail it back to the front of the house, but, as is always the way in dreams, I could only seem to go in slow-mo and couldn't get away as these three lions came after me.
Then I woke up. Yikes. That was not fun. Really hope Dr. McCready does not look like a lion.

Isn't it odd, that all my thoughts these days of the Cowardly Lion, took over my brain in my dream? Nothing but fear fear fear. Drat you Bert Lahr! WHY did you have to be so convincing in that part??

Carrie (who I am now referring to as "Serenity Sis"), heard about the dream and mentioned, at least my sense of humour is still intact! (thank God). She also had a few sage words of advice. Here goes.

"Be brave. Be clear enough thinking that you really LISTEN to what McCready says. Or at least make sure that Sam is your "listening back-up". This is the most important thing here: that you hear what he has to say. A few times before you go, or during: Breathe in slowly through your nose, if you can. Breathe out very slowly while doing a quiet controlled "sssssss". Feel the breath through your body as you do this. Repeat. (It's a singing relaxation exercise)".

Started breathing and getting ready for the consult. Drove kids to school, got home at 9 a.m., listened to Dave Agar's calming voice on Talk 1010 news. Sigh. Did the whole shower/makeup/hair routine, took a 5 mg. Valium (prescribed by my GP for days when the adrenaline is pumping a bit too hard!), packed up everything I needed to take, including a notebook and pen and off we went.

Feeling marginally better this morning than I have the past week. Still very nervous, but I guess once the day arrives, you have to put up or shut up. Strangely, my Toronto Star horoscope today says:

Just step forward with courage and invite fresh magic into your life.

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