Radiation roundup

August 3/11.

Tuesday was a pretty exciting day. Hard to explain exactly what it's like to reach the point when 16 radiation treatments, (and 16 days of rushing to get geared up for the hospital) are almost over, but it's kind of a blast! My heart continues to race, breathing out of whack, energy level skyrocketing outta control and no one has a clue why. Shrinks want to put me on meds, to bring "Intensity Entity" down a notch, or ten. I've decided no. Whatever "I. E." is, has been lodged inside me for a REASON - (I now believe, to get me through cancer treatments), and I'm hanging ON to it, (he? she?) I'm betting on Mum. Just the kind of prank she'd instigate. (to help her daughter survive).

This has been a tough week for some reason, thinking about her, suddenly feeling her in quick, overpowering bursts of sunshine. Sometimes, when my window fills with brilliant, blinding sunlight, I stand and bask in that light, eyes closed, feeling she's there, sending me the power to overcome cancer, (even though she died before knowing I had it). SHE got thru it, so maybe I can too.

My friends/family members, Franc & Mary will be performing in the Atrium at noon on Wednesday!! No, they are NOT performing for everyone else in the hospital, but just for ME because it is my last day of radiation! (just KIDDING...I KNOW I have to share the incredible talents of Franc & Mary with the rest of the world! But I DO think it's beyond coincidence that they happened to be scheduled to perform on my LAST day of treatment! - and they didn't even KNOW it!) Somebody upstairs is orchestrating this whole friggin' thing, I have no doubt. Mum? Nadine? Uncle Ev? Someone else? Difficult to say.

As for Civic Holiday Monday, it ALMOST seemed like "Intensity Entity" was leaving me. Actually felt calm for...an hour...or two. Thought I.E. was dying, or maybe on the way out, but I was wrong. Seems, "it" was only sleeping - (while I was wide awake), because today, it's been back, stronger than ever, with ultra-vengeance! Crazy.

Radiation table top today? Muzak? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not again! Cry Me A River by Diana Krall. (how many times can I hear this in a week?!?) Gak.


I don't hate the woman, OR the song, but, I could so use something hotter on that table! Come onnnnnnnnnn!

In fact, the other day, an old friend of mine was talking to me about the hottest songs in the universe and came up with two numbers by the late, great Teddy Pendergrass. I never really knew his work, but after checking these songs, Ai Carumba!! - Hand me a fan! Definitely good table top stuff!

My friend suggested his version of "Do Me", (which was bad enough - wow!!), but then told me I should see his beyond phenomenal LIVE performance of "Turn Off The Lights" (1982), shot before his horrifying accident, which left him paralyzed. OMG, Teddy sweats up a storm up there on stage and smoulders his way thru the tune, singing lyrics like, "I'm lyin' here, - waiting my dear, - whatever YOU want to do Baby,"... we both agreed, the man KNEW what women wanted! If THIS performance doesn't throw you into overdrive, nothing EVER will!!


So ya, wouldn't have minded hearing THIS on the table, instead of Cry Me a River!! LOL

So, onward now to "Where's My Stylist?" - (nowhere to be found, apparently). Strangely, dragged out one of Mum's old scarves, which I inherited, (a stained glass window pattern), along with my beret. Nothing like a crappy looking gown AND bad humidity hair day!

Table top fantasy today? Didn't go far...in fact, nowhere! Just knowing the treatments are almost over, had me dreaming of the dressing room, thinking about wrapping up treatments, getting dressed, walking out and leaving them behind! In my mind, someone - not sure who, held my hand, (the hand they have pushed back into the "over-the-head arm contraption"), and it helped get me through the treatment. (thanks mystery table top guest!)

So, treatment #15 - over! Last one on Wednesday!! - 1:45 p.m.
Then, time to party!!