Lain's Log

How can you be so calm?

March 24/11

It's fantastic to receive messages from family and friends. No matter WHAT people say, there is always SOMETHING you can take or file away from their comments and hold on to when you're feeling down, depressed or frightened.

My sister-in-law, Jan, has one of the calmest voices in the world. I've admired that for decades. Having been an on-air news reporter on both radio and TV, I've always hoped my voice could come across as kind of Walter Cronkite-like, calm, cool and collected - (no matter WHAT you might be feeling INSIDE). I have NEVER known what it's like to be completely calm. I guess some people must know that feeling. I've watched reporters and anchor people who CAN'T be flustered, no matter WHAT happens. They are my dream. Jan is one of those people.
Years ago, I was about to have four root canals done all at once. I asked to be "put out" for the procedure. It cost an extra thousand dollars to do this. They gave me a shot, and nothing seemed to happen. I was freaking. They left me alone in the exam room, staring out a huge glass window to the city below. (At the time, I was still working as a reporter and had taken the day off for this procedure). All of a sudden, this UNBELIEVABLE feeling came over me, and my last thought was, "If ONLY, I could feel THIS calm, when I go on the air.".........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......

When Jan got word that the initial consult with Dr. McCready was over, we spoke on the phone for a long (calm) while, and she also wrote me, saying, "It is now a relief to feel that the train has begun to roll and that you are in very good hands. I hope you are able to feel some of that today. A few years ago, I read a book about finding meaning in life and it reminded me that there are always simple pleasures, a song, the way the sun lights up a puddle, the smell of spring. I hope that these, the kids, your adoring husband, provide distraction and some inner peace. Look after yourself. We are all with you and love you."

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