Get thru the night! - (& watch out! I have nails now!)

February 18/12.

Ever since being diagnosed with breast cancer a year ago, I've done a lot of things I never imagined I'd do. Cancer messes not only with the body, but the mind, heart & soul. (just in case you didn't know). No excuses. No prisoners. Shit happens & you roll with it, day by day. Some of it, - fantastically fun - ("Intensity Entity"), - never felt anything LIKE it. Absolutely WILD! - Some of it, emotionally painful - (tons 'o tears). The rest of it, just funny as hell. (Carrie? Prickles? Loretta? Franelle? Joanne? Bruce? Bill?) Bring on the laughs! The more, the better. ONLY way to let your freak flag fly! Won't reveal EVERYTHING I've done to cope. Just too frickin' out there. No one would believe it anyway! (unless you've followed this blog from Day ONE). Best concept I CAN give comes from John Lennon. "Whatever gets you thru the night, it's alright, it's alright." Agree with you there Lennon! Go with what works!

Mmmmmmm hmmmmmmmmm....What's helped? Let's see. Mega-blonde hair colour, piles of makeup, tight clothes, lacey La Senza/La Vie En Rose lingerie, high-top boots, wild & crazy emails, radiation table-top fantasies, "Me days," 3 Stooges marathons (an absolute MUST),  Jerry Lewis, House, (Hugh Laurie!), fab voice-over course with Jason Deline, (with demo recording still-to-come on February 21st), Friendly Greek take-out, Henkell, (duh), hot HOT showers, Body Shop vanilla-scented cream, trying to learn digi-photography, Howard Stern, Robin Quivers, the Wack Pack, NewsTalk 1010's Mike Bullard, Jim Richards & Dave Agar, Carrie's "Prickles the porcupine" puppet & videos, family, friends and - the famous flying fickle finger of fate! (not sure if Dick & Dan got fickle finger manicures!) - More to come on that in a sec.

 ("Say good night Dick." - "Good night Dick.") - Sock it to me!!

To quote Norman Bates from Psycho - "We all go a little mad sometimes, haven't you?"

Uh, yep, indeed.

That being said, did something today I've only done ONCE in my life. (for my wedding day). Had a manicure! WTF?  Anyone who knows me must be freaking to read this tidbit of info. UNHEARD of.

Before shot


Being the "calm, cool, collected" individual I am, (NOT!) - I've made annual new years resolutions for DECADES to stop biting my nails. Those "promises" always lasted exactly ONE day. Then, 364 days later, I tried again, with the same result. Over & over & over. But for SOME reason, THIS year, something snapped or zapped. Don't know WHY, don't know HOW, but it did. Had so many OTHER stresses in my life, I just stopped biting! Started to think, "Hey, maybe I can actually get my nails done!" (ha ha! - ya, this is the BEFORE pic...NOT great, but the best my nails have been since, well...ever). I know, a joke, right??

Then, in a grocery store line-up the other day, saw a woman with nails like this! (even BETTER than this actually). I told her she has GORGEOUS nails, and said I've stopped biting and want MINE to look like HERS. She advised me, "Go to a manicurist and ask for Shellac. You'll NEVER want to bite your nails again!" After that brief conversation, all I could think about was Shellac!

Made an appointment for 3:30 p.m. Saturday afternoon at Urban Nails (said to be the BEST salon on the Danforth!) I've been there several times to buy gift cards for other people, but never frequented the place for myself! - (what's the point, when you have no nails?)

Upon entering, encountered the stunning Christine at reception. Perfect hair, makeup, clothing and so very charming. I told her I wanted to meet Kevin Nguyen, (who I'd read about online. He owns the place).

He turned out to be two feet away from me, working on a client!  Asked him if I could take pics at his salon and run them on my blog.  He was very nice, said OK, and even offered to take pics for me! (Gave him the blog address so he can read this later).

After checking my nails, (with a bit of a sigh, LOL), Kevin "assigned me" to Kelly. She turned out to be the loveliest young woman from Vietnam (who grew up in the same town as Kevin!) They worked together at a salon in Cabbagetown and then he launched his own business and she works with him at the Danforth location, three days a week (Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays). She has a nine-and-a-half-month old baby boy and looks after him the rest of the week. Most members of her family live in Toronto now. She moved to T.O. in 2003, with NO skills in English. You'd never know it. I clearly understood every word she said and she is just a delight. I told her, when I come back to Urban Nails, I want to request her, personally. Such a sweetheart. I recommend her highly! - and great at her job!

Kevin kindly came over several times and took pics of Kelly working on my nails. This is the high-speed curing light, to dry nails in just two minutes! Coolio! They also turned on the massage chair, which shocked the hell out of me! Incredible! I think I need to BUY one!

Since my nails are so short, I chose the most natural, light pink Shellac shade. (next time, when my nails are a bit longer, I'll go a little more vibrant).

After shot

This may not look like much of anything to those who've had great nails all their lives, - but for me?
Almost life-changing! Gak! (and I'm NOT trying to give you the finger - of fate, or otherwise!) Thank you Kevin & Kelly! As Arnold Schwarzenegger would say, "I'll be back!"

http://www.urbannails.ca/

Thinking out loud

May 28/11

Went on a "photo shoot" today in the Beaches. Sam was the photog and took some pics on the boardwalk and by the lake.

Quite often these days, people will ask how I'm doing, or coping. My stock answer is, "Hangin' in there." But let me see if I can actually formulate a response to those questions.

It's hard to describe what I'm feeling of late, except to say, my mind and heart seem to be living in a state of "heightened intensity." Everything seems bigger, more important, more "white hot" than it used to be. It's how I imagine it might feel being on a mind-bending drug, like LSD, (although I'm completely drug-free). In some ways, I guess it's fun and trippy, but on the flip side, kinda scary.

(Click pics to enlarge, so you, too, can "duplicate" my heightened state of reality!)

What to DO with this burning excess energy and mind-racing, I'm not sure, except to just let 'er rip and take off where ever it wants to go, hoping it won't spin out of control or hit a wall.

Is it out there? Over the top? Hormonal? Possible I guess. Or is it simply the way someone responds when "normal life" is tossed right out of whack? My whole way of thinking seems distorted, skewed, conflicted. I want to do things differently, explore, thrill-seek, electrify, feel things more deeply, live, talk to people I can't reach, see people I know I can't see.

I AM clear on one thing. Part of this is body-related. I'm so happy Dr. McCready was able to save my breast (since I've always loved having them - see March 28th blog entry - "The Love of Breasts" in March archive!), and it's a kick being slimmer and able to wear tight clothes, if I so desire - (after all those horrifying hospital gowns!), and to feel like a real woman again.

I don't want to go gentle into that good night - but to burn and rave at close of day - and rage, rage against the dying of the light! (thank you Dylan Thomas. You got THAT right!)

I want to put it out there! (but what's IT? - and WHERE?) No clue.
Maybe right here, and just for ME, so I know I'm alive. Or maybe, for YOU, (whomever is reading). Look out!

See what I mean? "Heightened reality." As William Shatner would say,
"Weird or what??"

And to quote Norman Bates (my all-time favourite horror movie character from Psycho), "We ALL go a little mad sometimes, haven't you?"