Lain's Log

The love of breasts

March 28/11

I've always loved having breasts. In my late teens and early twenties, I had a decent figure and showed it off whenever possible. It certainly wasn't because I thought I was gorgeous. Never thought that. Hated my Barbra Streisand nose, pointy chin, drab stringy hair, big feet, you name it - I hated all of it. But after three years of braces, I had straight teeth, then ditched the nerdy glasses for blue-tinted contact lenses, piled on the makeup, dyed my hair as blonde as blonde could be, and then, look out world!

My poor Mum had to watch as I'd go out the door, sporting the shortest of skirts, the tightest of t-shirts, anything to attract a little attention. Don't really know why. Guess a therapist could have a field day answering that question, but I really don't care. I just liked being feminine, sexy and provocative. Breasts were a big part of that.
As Mel Brooks wrote for Ulla in The Producers - "When you got it, flaunt it!" I did.

Being told I must have a large part of my breast removed, not only scares me out of my mind, (due of course, to the unknown, the pain, how I'll deal with radiation, etc.), but also, just because I love having breasts so much. Some people will likely relate to this, and I guess many others, won't.

OK. What the heck? Let's have some fun. I'll do a little "blog-flaunting" for you right now! (blush)

At 18, I remember finding the most flamboyant, pink string bikini. It was fantastic. A high school friend of mine, Marion, first introduced the string bikini to Toronto when she won the Miss Bikini contest at Johnny Lombardi's island picnic. She was stunning. I wanted a bikini like that, so I got one. My then boyfriend, Bruce, (who you may notice, is extremely handsome!), invited me to meet his parents at their cottage up north. I chose to wear the bikini. (wonder what his Mum and Dad must have thought?) I still love the photo. (As for the baby - not ours! Can't remember her name, but I think she belonged to Bruce's brother and his wife).

A couple of years later, I bought a turquoise macrame string bikini. Wore it on a trip to Las Vegas, where the hotel had a beautiful pool.

Also wore it on a beach in Florida.

I've been given brochures from the hospital about body image and self esteem after breast surgery. I have no clue how I'll feel afterwards. I only know that I wish I didn't have to say goodbye to any part of my breast. Strangely, in my fifties, I've been quite happy with my body. I've kept my weight down (always between 110 - 115), and can still wear a bathing suit, (but not a bikini!)

Even this past summer, I put on my bathing suit for the "annual try-on" during our most recent summer holiday at Fern Resort and thought I didn't look bad for 54!

Now I'll have to figure out a way to get used to my new body, once I've healed and the radiation is over.

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At April 13, 2011 at 3:35 p.m. , Blogger Christine said...

Hi Elaine!
You've got a lot of writing to do, so many fantastic stories to tell about boobs and broadcasting.
I'm thinking good thoughts for your prognosis, we both know many women who have overcome health crises, I know you have the strength of spirit to do it. You've paid it forward--all the care you have given to others. If there's karma, yours is gold-plated.




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