Home alone!

September 4/11

Cue Rod Serling voice.

"Join me tonight for a portrait. A portrait of a woman who has lost it. Gone round-the-bend. A woman who could be called "Mother-of-the-year." (NOT!)

Here's the story of my wild & wacky Saturday. Some of it isn't pretty, lemme tell ya.

I was already freaking about using the new GPS system for the first time, (given to me as a gift from Sam,) so I won't get lost. (which I do, constantly, if I have to drive anywhere further than Yonge & Finch).

We were on our way to a family celebration at the home of Sam's brother, Neil, and his wife, Carolyn, in Newmarket, for my Mum-in-law's birthday.

Jean Bornstein (my Mum-in-law), looking smashing at her birthday bash!

My Dad-in-law, Ben Bornstein, watches in appreciation of his lovely wife, (He says he will take her out to dinner on her REAL birthday on Monday night)!

Sam was on his way to pick up his parents in HIS car, while I was preparing, in terror, to drive MY car to Newmarket, with my daughter, Kate, as navigator and GPS watcher/listener. Earlier in the week, I told my son, Max, he would be going in the car with his Dad and grandparents and we'd all hook up in Newmarket, (assuming I didn't end up in Timbuktu).

I HATE driving highways. Started shaking and going into panic mode. (Again, in the infamous words of Woody Allen, "Somebody should just throw a blanket over me.") But, I sucked it up, did the whole shower/hair/makeup routine, got in the car with Kate, she fired up the GPS and off we went. Surprisingly, we GOT there - to the right street, the right house, the right party! I felt weak as I stepped out of the car, but I DID it!!

But then, when we were greeted at the door, and everyone congratulated me on this great feat of overcoming my directionally-challenged ways, Sam walked up to Kate and I and asked, "Where's Max?"

I laughed and said, "What do you MEAN where's Max? He was with YOU!"

Sam responded, "I didn't bring him!" At this point, I nearly passed out and was on the verge of hysterical tears. Great. I make it to the bash, but forgot my son at home!

Oh NOOOOOOOOOOO! HOME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Suddenly, I turned into Catherine O'Hara, before my very eyes.

"Where's Kevin?????" (er, I mean, MAX!!!)

Now, instead of being the butt of the lost-all-over-the-city jokes, I was officially Mother-of-the-year. I could have SWORN that Max was scheduled to travel to this party with his Dad, but nope. Wrong again Lain. I called Max on his cell. He was sleeping in his bedroom. Didn't even realize we had all left. I felt horrible. Contemplated driving back to get him, but by the time I would do that and return to Newmarket, the party would be over. Only thing left to do, carry on without him and bring party food home to him later. Max was so disappointed. So was I. So was everyone. I am such a loser.

(Just another Ka-BOOM moment, brought to you by Lain).

But, we partied on and had a lot of fun, though everyone missed Max. I asked to have my pic taken with all the young students (sans Max), at the party, who will be starting back to school after Labour Day.

(left to right) - Extended family member,- beautiful Jessie, age 11, about to enter grade 7, my incredibly talented nephew, Adam Bornstein (19), heading back to Western for 2nd year in MIT (Media Information Technology), me, my brilliant navigator daughter, Kate, 19, about to start Ryerson in Arts & Contemporary Studies, and my highly entertaining nephew, Justin, 15, who begins grade 10 soon in Port Perry. May you ALL have a very successful school year. Love you and will be rooting for you!!

You may know from a previous blog entry, that the Tuesday after Labour Day has been my lifelong LEAST favourite day of the year. As I grew up, it represented fear, apprehension, nervousness and a bitter hatred of the loss of freedom brought about by the end of summer. But THESE kids are SO much better adjusted than I ever was, and are actually looking FORWARD to getting back to school, work and friends.

Carolyn served TWO fabulous cakes, one strawberry shortcake and one dark, sinfully rich chocolate. She gave me a generous slab of chocolate cake to bring back for Max, along with a couple of burgers for dinner. (which he really appreciated).

Thanks Carolyn and Neil for such a great party! (Next time, I'll be sure to bring Max)!

After Kate and I made it back to the city, we stopped at a Tim Hortons to pick up a bagel with cream cheese and a coffee for Kevan. Dropped Kate off at home and picked up Max to go see his Uncle Kev for a visit at Bridgepoint Rehab.

Had a great time together out in the hot and humid courtyard, filled with trees, flowers, birds - and lots of other poor souls in wheelchairs. Kev is da bomb, as always. I would like to bottle his upbeat, easy-going nature.

We talked about music, family, pretty girls, all the important things of life. Kev says, after his accident, he has a new appreciation about the IMPORTANT things, and that when it comes to the rest of the crap, - take a chill pill. As of Sunday, Kev's family will be in Malta, so I'll be doing what I can to help him during this rough time at Bridgepoint where he needs to recover. He also wants to continue to get to his studio as often as possible to compose and record his new music assignment. Getting to the studio and back with two fractured ankles and in a wheelchair, isn't easy!

Meanwhile, my sister, Carrie, was having a very different day from mine.

She and her son, Lee, were involved in a baseball tournament in Oakville, where our Dad (Rex Loring) lives. Carrie invited Dad to come and watch some of the game, and he DID! A rare get together!!

I was SO moved to see these photos Carrie sent from the baseball diamond. We're close to Dad, in spirit and on the phone, but don't get to see him often, so these pics are oh-so-special.

To quote a baseball term, Dad has "stepped up to the plate" a lot these days, since the loss of our Mum. We are SO happy to have one parent around who cares, is still here to love us and be proud of his grandchildren.

To make things even better, GARTH was in town. Lee's Dad, (Garth Mosbaugh, of The Nylons), was visiting from B.C. and able to be there for the tournament too. This photo particularly got to me, since this unusual "son-in-law/father-in-law" team can rarely get together.

Garth just looks so happy here - (Dad does too), and the pic SO reminds me of old times and the fun they had together. GREAT shot Carrie!

Garth, Lee, Dad, Carrie - What a team!

Carrie says this was the final game EVER for this particular team. She was happy our Dad saw her in this light and got a glimpse into "her world" of yelling at players and doing the "baseball-Mom" thing. I will quote her here, as she says it better than I ever could!

Carrie says:
"When they lost the game, it was dramatic. They all had to say goodbye. Some members will be back, but Lee will be gone, as will a few others, and the coaching staff will change also. I overheard a bit of Sticks' (the coach's) speech.......all about commitment, and having mentors, and being happy and staying determined, being crazy sometimes, thanking your parents, going the distance, trying MORE than your best........I didn't cry, but I had to hold back my tears. It's been a great year, baseball-wise"!

Carrie, her 6-foot-tall son Lee, and our Dad - (Rex Loring!!)

"I'm so happy for Lee to be moving on up to The Rangers (starting Tuesday!!), but saying goodbye to this team is killing me............weeping here as I write. Lee has grown so much under the mentorship of Sticks and Dan. I will miss this team so much".

Proud parents, Carrie & Garth, with baseball star Lee.
(at least HE didn't get left Home Alone!!)

Oh, and Carrie reports, the team loss was a heart-breaker 6-5, but a great game! Now, Carrie is off for a week-long Tafelmusik tour in Montreal while, in another rare family opportunity, Garth will play "single Dad," stay with Lee and help launch into a new school year in grade 11. New beginnings all around.

Now THAT was one crazy Saturday!

Misty watercolour memories

June 28/11.

Today is the closing day for the guy who bought Mum's house. He bought it with just one condition - that the house HE'S selling closes without issues on June 28th. Our agent says everything looks good. Still working towards our closing date of July 7th. Nine days and counting! One of our big jobs at the hidey hole today was tackling the dreaded basement closet! We had packed it with all Mum's old pictures, photo albums, very old Mac computer, university yearbooks, letters, files and on an on. (All the stuff that takes forever to sort through).

Since we're running out of time, we finally decided to give up on trying to sort it all out. Instead, we packed it all into my car to be taken to my garage where it will temporarily be stored.

By the time we stuffed it all into my car, it filled the trunk and all the back and front seats. (except for the driver's seat!)

Funny how today, we were surrounded by memories, not just of Mum, but also of our beloved grandparents, Mabel and Arthur Burridge.

We found the McMaster University "letter in a frame", given to the family when Grampa was officially (posthumously) inducted into the McMaster University Hall of Fame in 1984. He was the sports director there in Hamilton for many years (before he and Gram decided to launch their antique shop at Pleasant Point, north of Lindsay). We miss them so much even 30 years after their passing.

Later, while going through the pictures and photo albums, only one had me break down in tears. Hadn't seen it many years. It was a photo of Gramma with my cousin Kev, (her grandson) - (Kevan Staples of Rough Trade fame), at his wedding in 1981. She just looked so very happy, and so does he! She was the world's best Gram - (right Kev?) I told Carrie, "Just can't look at this album right now." Think it will have to wait for a day when the emotion of the house closing is wrapped up.

Carrie also found the original invitation to Kevan and his wife, Marilyn's wedding. It was a gold tube which contained not only the invite, but "gold flecks" that flew out of the tube when you opened it! (Kevan and Marilyn will celebrate their 30-year wedding anniversary in September!)

And what to do with the old doll's house? It's been in the family for decades and belonged to our late cousin, Ellie when she was young, so how can we part with it?

Among the items I'm taking home is the rusty old screen for the slide projector. (Just holding it brings back memories).

It belonged to my Dad (Rex Loring), and I can still remember him showing slides on it, even though he split with my Mum and left our home when I wasn't quite four-years-old. (will have to let Dad know we still HAVE the screen!) Another day, Carrie and I will go through the slides, one by one and figure out which to keep. (That should take care of another days of tears!)

After hours of work, Carrie took a brief break on the lawn, where we've been putting out items for anyone to take. The caning on this chair is broken, but she still found a way to use it!

By the time I got everything home to my place, I knew I needed help getting it all into the garage.

Luckily, my son Max and two of his friends happened to be at the house, and were kind enough to pitch in and come to my aid!

(left to right - Michael, Max & Claire) - Thanks gang!
Tomorrow, back to work again. One of these days, the job might actually be finished. That seems hard to believe right now!

Father's Day!

June 19/11.

After all the frantic craziness of the estate sale, it was great to have a relaxing day with family. We drove north to Bobcaygeon where Sam's brother, Neil, and his wife, Carolyn, have a beautiful house on Pigeon Lake.

On the two hour drive to Bobcaygeon. Gorgeous day, stunning lake
It was a day to celebrate the Dads!

My Dad-in-law, Ben, brother-in-law, Neil and husband, Sam, having a fun Father's Day!
"Captain Neil" decided to show off his boating skills to Kate, me, Debbie and his daughter, Jenny.

Take off, eh?

Can't even remember the last time I was on a motor boat.

It was a blast going super-fast! (why did I bother doing my hair??) - As Regis Philbin would say, "It's outta CONTROL!!"

Kate enjoying the ride

Meanwhile, back on dry land, Max chillin' in the "sleepy swing" with some music

Mum & Dad waiting on the shore for us to get back

Ha ha! (that's my attempt to laugh in the face of breast cancer) - Bring out the bathing suit!

My bro-in-law, Neil, is not only a boater, but a master at the barbeque!

Jenny & Deb awaiting the barbeque lunch!

All ready now! Burgers, spicy sausages and chicken burgers with all the trimmings plus salads! Delish! First barbeque of the season!

My sister-in-law, Carolyn, always puts on such an incredible spread. We all enjoyed it!

Our attempt to recreate the "Sittin' on the dock of the bay" shot from LAST Father's Day. (pretty good ladies! - and Sam, who took the pic)

The only other visitors of the day - 11 Canada geese!

Before we knew it, the afternoon had flown by and it was time to say so long and head back to the city.

Here's my favourite tree on the lake. Such a beautiful spot. Thanks, Carolyn and Neil, for making it such a memorable Father's Day and giving us the gift of a relaxing family afternoon! Love you!

Dad

April 3/11

My Dad has really stepped up to the plate. At age 85, he's lost all three of the ladies in his life. He and Mum were married from 1950 to '59.
I wasn't quite four when Dad left to start a new life. Fifty years later, I know he still suffers guilt over the decisions he made, even though he did the best he could for us and never missed a support payment in his life. Sometimes things don't work out the way you planned. It wasn't anybody's fault. It just happened. I'm sad that Mum had to suddenly become a single parent, but I've always loved my Dad, no matter what the circumstances.


Me, my Dad (Rex Loring), and my sister Carrie

I didn't see him much at all as a child, but in the teen days, when I was able to take transit and make choices on my own, we visited off and on, (sometimes at the CBC, where he was a TV personality and newsman for many years), and he always made sure to deliver birthday and Christmas gifts. To this day, I have magic memories of those surprise presents, which somehow showed up at our door in the middle of the night!

He married a lovely lady named Shirley and was with her for over 20 happy years, until she underwent brain surgery and later died, due to complications. Her death came only days before the birth of his first grandchild (my daughter, Kate), in 1992. I still remember being at Shirley's funeral, and having friends approach my Dad to give condolences on the loss of his wife, while at the same time, congratulating him on becoming a grandfather. Highest highs, lowest lows.

He next shared his life with another incredible woman named Shirley Jane. They had a beautiful home together in Oakville for several years. We were happy he'd found someone so special. Shirley Jane played a big role in bringing our Dad together with us whenever possible, and I'll always be grateful to her for that. But in 2004, she passed away of cancer. Once again, Dad was mourning another very sad loss.

Even though my parents hadn't been together for over five decades, he was still very saddened by Mum's death, of complications due to surgery in October, 2010. He drove into Toronto to be with us for her Celebration of Life. It meant the world to Carrie and me that he was there to support us and to remember her. Mum always believed he was her destiny, because, she said, "You and Carrie just HAD to be born!"


Check out my Dad in his 20s! No wonder Mum flipped for him!

I was reluctant even to TELL Dad I have cancer. He's been through so much already. But, as he's my only remaining parent, I summoned up my courage, (take THAT Cowardly Lion!), and gave him the news. He took it well, with great strength, in light of the losses he's survived.

Since my diagnosis, I've been blown away by my Dad's unwavering support and sympathy. He calls me. He calls Carrie. We talk things over. He tries to make us feel better. He encourages me and when I've told him my worries about the upcoming surgery, he says, "Remember, the doctors don't want to have a failure! They want success!"

Going on this journey without my beloved Mum has been so tough for me, but, amazingly, I have a great Dad, who, come hell or high water, now appears committed to being there for me.

Love you so much Dad!