Lain's Log

Wouldja just calm down???????????

April 5/12

On Tuesday, the dietitian/nutritionist at Princess Margaret Hospital spent about an hour with me, going over all the food choices I should be making to gain weight. I tipped the scale at 97 lbs. (44 kilograms). She says my body mass index is 17.4. Susan Haines explained the normal BMI for my height (5 '2-1/2)  & weight should be between 18.5 and 24.9. I was given lists of ideas and suggestions (for example, frequent snacking), to add more calories. Got my work cut out for me, since I just don't feel like eating. I know most people have the opposite problem, and likely WISH they could be hit with the desire for less food. I can tell you though, it's not all that great. I don't feel well, I'm shaky and I've had some pretty devastating comments thrown my way (especially lately), about how I look. Since I've always taken care in my appearance, (skin care, hair, makeup, clothing), these criticisms have been so hurtful. I'll keep trying gang!

As I left the nutritionist's office and spent a long time waiting for the elevator to come up to the 15th floor, I looked out the window to see these dancing & jumping sculptures, all in flights of fancy!

(guess they've all been good little boys and girls, eating their fruits & veggies and feeling fab & fit for it)!

I checked out the inspiration easel at PMH before taking off.
Here's what it had to say.

I headed directly for No Frills (where I practically live), to pick up some of the things Ms. Haines recommended - (as well as a pretty Easter lily - in bloom, just as the inspirational sign said).

After dropping the groceries off at home and hearing all the news about gas price hikes the next day, I went back out to fill up.

Customers were going gaga over the cost per litre, making mad dashes to the pumps.

I took a few shots of the lineup of cars at the Gerrard/Carlaw No Frills gas bar. Ai carumba. Saw a couple of vicious verbal fights break out,

and witnessed raucous road rage running amok as shoppers tried to pull out of the grocery store and couldn't make the turn left OR right, due to the non-stop flow of angry motorists pushing for petrol. (I was lucky enough to have a nice person let me through the lineup so I could drive home again),

just in time to catch a pretty scene on my street.

The next morning, I was feeling so stressed, I decided to try something new. My sister, Carrie told me a number of months ago about walking a labyrinth at a church where she sings. She found it helpful to her inner soul, even though at times, she felt sad. Princess Margaret Hospital offers a labyrinth walk over at TGH on the first Wednesday of each month. According to the brochure, it's apparently an ancient spiritual tool, a walking meditation and a path of prayer that can guide you to find peace, insight, clarity and understanding (all of which I need).

I called the hospital, registered and then drove to TGH.

Surprisingly, it turned out, I was the only one in need of the walk that day! And since I had only called about an hour before, the staff wasn't prepared.

It takes a lot of work to set up the "maze" on the floor in a big boardroom. To their credit though, instead of just sending me on my merry way, a lovely woman named June Mawhinney came to talk to me. She is the spiritual care professional (the same person who writes the inspirational messages on the easel).

June brought me a "mini labyrinth", used by patients who can't participate in the actual walk. She told me, "There is only one way in and one way out," and

I could trace the paths with my finger to find my way to the centre, while contemplating any thoughts I like. She then played recordings of beautiful and soothing music. It was all very relaxed at first.

Many unexpected things came into my mind, especially people. An interesting and moving experience. But the final outcome for me? I just don't have a brain for puzzles and mazes. No matter HOW many times I tried, I could NOT find the way in or out! Did this make me feel calm, cool and collected? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I thank June for the time she spent with me and her encouraging, kind and caring words, but NO spiritual words were going to help me get to the centre of this contraption! Gak.

All I kept thinking was, thank God I wasn't trapped in the infamous hedge maze at the creepy Overlook Hotel with Jack Torrance! (Nicholson at his horrifying best),

in The Shining, or I would have REALLY been freaking!

(almost as much as Shelley Duvall - "Wendy Torrance")!!

More than 30 years later, that terrifying maze chase,

(and the whole movie), STILL scares the bejeebers out of me! - Quick. Somebody get me OUTTA here!!!!
I'm frozen with fear!!

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