Christmas CarUMba!!

December 25/11.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!! HOW did I manage to leave everything till the last minute on the 24th?? TRIED to get it ALL crossed off the mega-list, but it didn't happen.

This is pretty much the first year I left EVERY FRIGGIN' THING till the bitter end! Just couldn't seem to get fully-motivated. But once I did, was like a rock, (or is it a snowball?) - rolling downhill at fast speed. Here's how it all played out. (for the record, I didn't buy Santa for $47.99, and he didn't buy me, either). In fact, he ignored me, BIGTIME.

Numero uno stoppo - BMO, for mucho Christmas cash-ola!!


Then, onward, to fill up on gasoline.

Have been using up an absolute abundance of precious petrol, driving around, this way & that, east, west, north & south, - exploring new territory - HIGHWAYS - (gak!) - and testing out "Bossy GPS Broad" & her diehard demands & no dilly-dallying directions. (She keeps advising me to fill up regularly! So I do). The curious gas bar attendant wanted to know WHY I was taking pics.

Being in a mood to shock, (as usual), told him I'm an investigative reporter and wanted to reveal all kinds of scandalous secrets about his place of business. He looked afraid...(very afraid), but I smiled, he took my money and we waved goodbye. A cab driver at the gas bar witnessed the whole ridiculous (and fake) journalistic transaction, winked, and gave me the thumbs-up sign as I drove off. (This blogging thing sometimes makes me laugh).

Next stop?

Loblaws Bulk Barn at Eastern & Leslie.

FAB candy department!


(I'm not much of a candy consumer, but sure love to LOOK at the colourful Christmas products and buy for others)! I mean, WOW! SO many coolio confections!

Then, drove off across the street to Price Chopper. I spent more cash there than I EVER have before, - (but, hey! - They're Price Chopper! - so, worth every penny, right?)

FORGOT some items at Loblaws, so had to go back again! (Ya, I know, SHOULDA made a LIST, and checked it TWICE)!!

Next on the exciting shopping agenda, a stop at Mark's Work Wearhouse. Heard they had hot undergarments, but, lemme tell ya, - nope! - not so much. (Hey! - La Vie En Rose? - will be back to see you soon. You NEVER let me down on the sizzle scale)!

Then?

Canuck Tire, where I finally (nervously), tried out the infamous cart-mover thing-a-ma-jig! Yikes!

Was kinda scared, loading up the cart and sending it down the ramp on its lonesome, - then doing a meet & greet at the bottom. I can't keep up!

Had to make yet another trip to Shoppers,

(just couldn't BELIEVE Justin Bieber was still hangin' around the skin care aisle)!

Got everything home and into the kitchen. Despite my family Doc telling me, "Take it easy, let others do the heavy lifting and stop carting major merchandise into the house", I thought,

"Come ONNNNNNNNNNN!


I HAVE to live my life and do things my OWN way"!

Luckily, Kate & her boyfriend, Damian, were available to help me drag things in, just in time for Christmas! Took 90 minutes of putting stuff away in wildly obscure places - (since there wasn't enough room for everything),

Oh, and PLEASE, - NONE of this 1950's/Suzy Homemaker, apron-clad crap! NOT for me! Not my style.

I MUCH prefer cookin' with gas, - spicy & hot, - (clothing-wise at least!). I'm not much when it comes to cookin' in the kitchen, but bring on the tight black leggings, high top black boots and sexy, black lace! THEN I can at least get motivated to grind up a big batch of cranberry orange relish

in the Cuisinart! (the concoction has to remain in the fridge ALL NIGHT so the flashy flavours intermingle and make for a special, taste-bud-tingling, tangy treat the next day)!

Then, yep, you guessed it. Accidentally left a few MORE things off my non-existant shopping list.

Off to the Danforth Bargain World to pick up tinfoil pie plates for Christmas leftovers and a few other wacky items,

then, back over to Shoppers, (forgot I wanted sexy Skintimate Raspberry Rain shaving gel). I just REFUSE to get thru the holiday without this fragrant fave product so I can be scented, soft & satiny under anything & everything I wear during the holidays! - (What can I tell ya? I'm into sweet & silky. Just LOVE it)! Yep, I pretty much keep Skintimate in biz these days!

On the drive home, listened to Bryn Christopher (who ELSE?) Have been ADDICTED to his songs EVERY day since my cancer diagnosis day back on March 9th. The man touches my soul. Don't quite know why.

All his over-the-top songs capture what I feel these days.

Home again, still Christmas Eve, it was back to cooking - spinach and mushrooms for quiches, (part of my "famous" annual Christmas brunch),

but I draw the line at homemade pie crusts. It's Tenderflake all the way!





(Prepared six quiches in all, so lots of leftovers for everyone to take home)!

Next up? My late Mum's recipe for traditional turkey stuffing, starting with onion, celery and butter - (I buy only ONE onion per year - HATE them, but for some reason,

about a third of an onion tastes good in this Wonderbread stuffing!)

Then? My amazing egg casserole! (I'm laughing hysterically here, since my usual "speciality of the house" is the ever-popular Lipton Chicken Noodle Soup), but this decadent dish is my ONE & ONLY "gourmet achievement". Have made it annually for decades. AND SO good for you too! Butter, 22 eggs, a package of bacon, about a pound of delectable cubed black forest ham, a can of evaporated milk, - (or as my husband, Sam, refers to it, "Heart attack on a plate." (but, Hey Now! - it's only once a year). -

And for anyone who worries I don't eat, believe me, I DO!!!! I actually create ONE great brunch meal per year - only on Christmas.
My sister, Carrie, & her son, Lee, love it so much, that I make them an individual container of egg casserole to take home for Boxing Day.

By the time 11 p.m. Christmas Eve rolled around, I was nowhere NEAR finished cooking or wrapping presents. I was exhausted, cold, in pain, but WTF?

- The "late show version" of It's a Wonderful Life was about to air at 11 p.m., and I was ready to go for a mega-change-of-clothes,

to try to finish off the NEVER-ENDING Christmas Eve marathon! Ripped off the black lace and grabbed my HOUSE sweatshirt/hoodie, generously given to me by a friend. Hugh Laurie ("Dr. House") always inspires me and helps to get it goin' on!!

Hours of Jimmy Stewart later, Santa had made his visit, helped me stuff stockings for Kate & Max, (always generous)! -

and by the time I went to sleep at 6 a.m. Christmas morning,

they were just about ready to wake up & open their stockings! Timing is everything! (NOT!)

Kate's stocking - (Hey! - LAST season of Will & Grace!)

Max's stocking - Mall Cop and Rolling Stone, among other things!

Thank goodness for one wild & crazy family,


who delight in BRUNCH,

and devour dinner,


unwind & suspend belief long enough, (24 hours a year), to actually consume my cooking!!!! EGAD!!

Miraculously, a good time was had by all, and my Auntie Ray gave me the gift of this hat to go with my white fake fur coat. Cool!
More Christmas madness soon! And on Boxing Day? (er, today, - onwards to
Hannukah)! I can't keep up!!

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night. (er, good MORNING!)

Party time!

November 15/11.

The "official" celebration for Auntie Ray's 92nd birthday will be at our place tonight.

Age 92 doesn't come around too often!

Guests will include Auntie Ray's son, Kevan, her daughter-in-law, Marilyn, my sister, Carrie, her son, Lee, Carrie's boyfriend, Paul Nodwell, our good friend and extended family member, Mary Spence-Thomas (whom Ray adores), Sam, Kate, Max & me! Should be a great gathering.

Now in the midst of an ongoing, unending clean-up, in an attempt to make the house look presentable for guests!

Went to Chinatown last night (Gerrard Street, just east of Broadview) to pick up menus from Pearl Court,

so we can order food for the bash. (Auntie Ray has always adored Chinese food, but rarely gets to have it).

Dropped a copy of the menu into Kevan & Marilyn's mailbox on the way home, so we can select dishes everyone will like! Pretty soon, I'm going to start work on a fresh fruit salad to accompany the luscious cake Marilyn is bringing!

Meanwhile the rest of Monday was taken up by boring things like laundry, dishes,

grocery shopping and the dreaded changing of the cat litter. (don't know if I can HANDLE all the excitement).

(Just call me Suzy Homemaker)! - NOT!!!!!!!!!

Now I am in hysterics here! Anyone who knows me, knows I am the LEAST domestic woman on the planet. Stepford Wife speaks out here, - "Hmmmm. Let's see now. WHAT should I be doing next? Perhaps preparing a meatloaf for my family?"

I ask you,

where the heck are the Bolton Bros to spice up my life when I NEED them?? Woo hoo!

I have a wonderful friend, (who prefers to remain anonymous when it comes to blogs). For months now, we've spoken several times a day on the phone, very often commiserating about the mucho monotonous, mundane crap we have to work our way through on a day-to-day basis. (you know, the kind of useless, mindless chores,

that just make you want to go Ka-BOOM!!!!!!!!! (and not in a GOOD way) It's AMAZING how much laughter we generate with our own looney lingo! - (I'm tellin' ya, this woman could be a stand-up comic)!

The latest crazy conversations we get into involve Gladys Kravitz,

(nosy neighbour from the original TV series Bewitched)! - originally played by the brilliant Alice Pearce, (who died at age 48 of ovarian cancer back in 1966).

Later, portrayed by the equally hilarious Sandra Gould, (who passed away following heart surgery, just days before her 83rd birthday in 1999).

At any rate, my friend does a bang-on impression of Gladys Kravitz

and leaves wild phone messages that have me in stitches daily, (especially when she yammers on "mundane crap")! Can't bring myself to erase a particularly whacky recent one, in which she went into that pinched, grating Kravitz twang, saying,

"Helloooo! Hellllloo? Guess you're not there. I just got back from checking the clothes on the line and they're frozen solid! My GOODNESS it's getting cold out there. Well, must hurry back inside.

Abner's getting amorous, dear, and I'm in the middle of making ambrosia and mint juleps."

Hysteria ensues each time she calls! Thanks for helping keep my life so upbeat Gladys! You rule!

Thankfully, my own grocery shopping experience was knocked up a notch or 10, as I strolled the cosmetics department, only to hit on THIS!!

Hugh Laurie, my House hero, advertising a new skin product! Right on! Love it!

If I was a guy, this would definitely make me want to buy L'Oreal Vita Lift 5!!! (Hey, might even buy it MYSELF)!

I suffered from lunchbag letdown though, when I discovered the Loblaws shelves devoid of Diet Canada Dry Gingerale. Doh! (it's a MUST at our place)! But things were looking up considerably when I hightailed it over to Price Chopper across the street,

only to discover a goldmine of the stuff! - In fact, a whole houseful!

So, there you go! My "exciting" mundane Monday! The countdown is now underway to party-time Tuesday! Anyone for Canada Dry? ("The champagne of Ginger Ales")? Or, if you'd rather, we have REAL champagne! Cheers and ROCK ON!!