The Big C - Change

August 26/11.

Two and a half months ago, during the fired-up frenzy of all my cancer treatments AND trying to clear out and sell Mum's house, (days when I was pretty much a complete mess), I unexpectedly had an encounter with an old high school friend from Northern Secondary days. Les Molnar. (only the most incredible musical theatre performer ever)! - He starred in The Boyfriend and every other school show, knocking everyone out with his stage presence, singing, dancing, acting and pizzazz. He was a couple of years ahead of me when I was a geeky, awkward 15-year-old with glasses and braces. He slayed me with his confidence and continually left me in awe of his true talent. He barely knew me, but apparently remembered me as one of the shaky chorus kids in the cast.

He yelled out my name one afternoon in front of Luke's, the local convenience store, where I stopped in a daze between hospital and hidey hole visits. It was such an out-of-context connection, I didn't even realize who it was, till I looked into his eyes, and was suddenly 15 again, thinking, "Oh my God, - LES MOLNAR!" Turns out, he's really a very nice man, engaging, personable, kind, and ya, still gorgeous. At any rate, he was sad to hear of my cancer situation as well as the death of my Mum and gave me some information and advice to try and help and encourage me, then, took off into the sunset on his motorcycle.

Flash forward to mid-August, a day before leaving for vacation to Fern Resort. Les called me on the phone to check up on things. We ended up talking for a long time. Again, he gave me help and advice. Turns out, he's lost many friends and relatives to cancer and has made a study of the human body to keep himself fit and healthy. He told me about The China Study and said I should read the book. From what I understand, the study (among many things), indicates that people who consume a whole plant food/vegan diet, avoiding animal proteins, can minimize or reverse the development of chronic diseases. Les told me, in his opinion, I should give up meat and alcohol. (and also said I shouldn't use a cell phone or earpiece).

He said everyone thinks of "The Big C" as cancer, when we SHOULD be looking at The Big C as CHANGE. He encouraged me to make changes in my life, - diet, exercise, and psychological ones too, perhaps in an attempt to counteract the outta control, raging Intensity Entity and try to get back on some kind of even keel, since everything in my life has felt out of whack for so many months.

During the Fern trip, (and since being home as well), I haven't had any red meat at all. Just lots of fish, veggies and fruit. Did have two desserts at Fern though - (on the night they served their specialty, peanut butter pie!) But tried to keep the sugar to a minimum too.

(Oh, and as for the wine, that's going to take a little more work).

Yesterday, I briefly stopped in at the old stompin' grounds at Princess Margaret Hospital to see my favourite atrium and go to Druxy's to pick up a bagel with schmeer (Kev's fave) and a coffee (to counteract the hospital sludge for him!)

Then into Indigo at Mount Sinai Hospital. (yep, another hospital!) to buy Kev some new reading material at the magazine rack.

As I was walking out, noticed The China Study! Decided to buy it for myself. Les asked me to call him when I got back from holiday to tell him how things went. I just may do that, and let him know I bought the book too. My Mum always said, "God speaks through people," so maybe somebody is trying to tell me something about the changes I need to make. Who knows?

Upon arriving at Kevan's hospital room, I got a big surprise! There were no other patients in the massive room for four - just Kev, having his dinner and some other special visitors - his beautiful family - daughter Sacha and his new granddaughter Sienna (just over two months old), plus his wife, Marilyn, who took this pic!

Sacha, Kev, granddaughter Sienna and me! - If Sacha and Sienna can't cheer him up, nothing ever will!

Sienna is such a litte doll!

Kevio's big room has lots of space and a nice view of the city below.

Not long after these pics were taken, several more patients were brought in, but for a while, he had the room all to himself!

Another surprise - Kev's cousin Susan dropped by to visit and bring him some new pants! Here's a great shot of the gang.
(left to right) - Sacha, baby Sienna, Kev's fabulous wife, Marilyn and cuz Susan, Kev in front. He is a lucky man!

I was thrilled to get the chance to walk outside the hospital with Kevan and to see him doing so well in the wheelchair.

He's escaped! (at least, temporarily).
Kevan is looking forward to getting out of the hospital soon and into a rehab place so he can get some therapy and learn to put this behind him and move forward. March forth! (as my family likes to say!)

On the way out of Mt. Sinai, I ran into Tamara. She is a homeless woman who sits next to the pay parking kiosk, hoping for spare change. Here I am seeing her again, with all the visits to Kevan.

During my 16 daily radiation treatments, I brought her something every day - sometimes drinks because she likes apple juice and cranberry juice. We always had a talk and every time, she told me I'm looking good and she's praying for me. Can you believe that? Of course, she always brought a tear to my eye. Yesterday, I asked her where she sleeps. She said, "On top of the roof of the garage down the street." I gave her a few dollars, wished her luck and said I'd see her again the next day. Tamara was excited that she would be featured in my blog, even though she can't see it. I will print this section out to show her later today.

On the way home, driving along Broadview Avenue, I stopped the car in front of Jack Layton's constituency office to look at the massive piles of flowers, gifts and messages and to take a few pictures.

The city obviously misses Jack very much, and appreciates all he did for Toronto.

People like Kevan, Les Molnar and Jack Layton are inspiring to me. I am trying to make changes. For now though, I'm stepping back and just thinking about this emotional day.

Hospital overload!

June 14/11

I had one wild day. Spent time in THREE different hospitals! It was actually GREAT! - Intensity Entity must have been thrilled, as there was NO shortage of ENNNNNNNNNERGGGGGGGY!!!!!!!!!!!
Push the pedal to the metal! We did.

Started off at Princess Margaret Hospital, meeting with "The Nutty Professor" around noon. Amazing man. (Dr. Eitan Amir). I only call him that because he SOUNDS so much like my hero, Jerry Lewis, as "Professor Julius Kelp" in the classic 1963 film. (which I've watched about a gazillion times!)

While waiting for the Doc, tried out the "shutter delay" function on my camera for this "lovely gown" pic! I'm lousy at it. Didn't know I had strawberries growing out of my head! Whatever.
Dr. Amir reviewed the famous $5,000 Oncotype DX test - (the one sent to Redwood City, California for results). He explained the test determines, "the expression of a panel of 21 genes in tumour tissue". The Recurrence Score is calculated from the gene expression results. The Recurrence Score range is from 0 to 100. My score is 19. Those patients who have a Recurrence Score of 19, had an average rate of DISTANT recurrence of 12 percent. (but the Doc claims, they tend to err on the side of caution, and it's really more like 9 or 10 percent). He confirmed he would NOT recommend chemo therapy with this score, saying, "The benefit of chemo in YOUR case, would be very small." (and I'm thrilled).

Read him a few notes, (attempting to explain "Intensity Entity"), and asked what he thinks is ACTUALLY happening? What's it all about? He thought for a second and then said, "Stress." He took my blood pressure. It was 122/84. Better than I thought, under the circumstances! Also asked him to do a check of "the site." He did, and told me the arm numbness MAY go away, - or, may NEVER take off, (eh?)

I then had time to kill between The Nutty Professor and the Survivorship Centre appointment. Out the front of PMH, asked a paramedic to take my pic. He did, but apparently, (having the same fabulous camera skills as me), didn't take a shot at ALL! (guess his talents rest with life-saving only, which is a GOOD thing!) No photo! Finally, sat the camera on top of a parked car and did the "automatic" thing. As I'm useless at figuring out how to set it up, - cut off the top of my head. - (I REALLY need some photography training!)

Next, off to Mount Sinai, next door. Bought flowers and a baby card at the gift shop. Sat on the floor to write a message and then, headed up to see my cousin Sacha and the new baby! I was SOOOOOOO excited about meeting the little one, but not sure if Sacha would be up for a visit. Peaked into her semi-private room. Curtains were drawn around the two new mothers inside. But then, way in the background, spotted my beloved cousin Kev - new "Grampa"), sitting in a chair. He saw me, let out a laugh and I asked, "Is it OK to come in? Is Sacha alright with a visitor?"

I was fearing the worst after her 30-hour labour and C-section the night before, but Kev waved me thru! I came in, checked behind the curtain, and saw the most beautiful sight! A tiny baby girl in the arms of my beautiful cousin, Sacha! She looked GREAT! Not in too much pain, smiling, happy to see me and very welcoming. What a lovely girl Sacha is. (as for the baby - no name yet! - sweetest, little tiny, pink, 8-pound creation you've EVER seen!)

Sacha allowed me to snap a pic of her baby, but without the flash and only if SHE wasn't included in the shot! (she's not quite "ready for her closeup" yet!" - I sure get THAT!) The little girl is absolute perfection! Sweet face, tiny little nose, darkish blonde hair, adorable cry.

Out-of-focus "Baby Staples". Wonder what her name will be??
Took a few notes during my meeting with Sacha, (who is 27). I asked how it feels and she said, "It's like I always had her. I can't remember my life before her".

Sacha then proclaimed, "She's a superstar! I'm just in love. I've been waiting for her for SO long. I'm so happy. No sob-story here!"

The baby's Dad, Mark, left the hospital room minutes before I arrived to go home for some sleep. I was sorry to miss him. From what I hear, Mark has nicknamed the baby "June Bug" or "Sponge Bob", (for now), until her REAL name is selected!

"Grampa Kev" peers in at his new baby granddaughter!" Congrats Kevan! - (and "Gramma Marilyn!")

Finally, had to leave for my NEXT appointment, this time over at Toronto General. I walked MILES today!

Nice shot! (not!) Tried to take it to replace the one NOT taken by the paramedic!
Met with Lucy, a lovely woman at the Health, Wellness & Cancer Survivorship Centre. Had to fill in a questionnaire about how I'm doing, what's happening with pain, how I'm coping (emotionally, physically), and all that. Tried to tell the truth. Coping really well in some areas. Others? Hmmmmm, not so much!

Lucy informed me about all the incredible free classes, training sessions, "think tanks" available. I had NO idea PMH has so much to offer to patients. Among the classes I'm considering - Radiation therapy, Managing your journey - balancing life with cancer, What to eat when you don't feel like eating, (since I'm down to 100 pounds) and relaxation therapy. ("I.E." won't like THAT!!) I've also been told by TWO people that I MUST MEET Dr. Buckman! This well-known Dr./author, conducts many classes called "Surviving & Thriving." Anyone can just drop in and be part of his talks. I figure I should go and at least take his photo for the blog, (if he'll let me!)

At the end of all my "hospital rounds", managed to lose my car in the parking lot (exactly like that Seinfeld episode). Took half an hour to track it down. Then, on the way home, got a call from our real estate agent, telling me there's another offer! Realized we needed milk, so pulled up on the curb outside the local convenience store, heart racing about the new "house action." Got out of the car, and heard someone shout my name, - "ELAINE!" Spun around in this crazy state, saw the most stunning looking man, (really out of context here), and all I could blurt out was, "Who's that"?? He looked at me quizzically, as if to say, "Get a grip woman!" Took a closer look, and - yikes!

LES MOLNAR!! Only the most fantastically talented guy at my old high school - (Northern Secondary). We were actually in musicals together, including "The Boyfriend"! I was in the chorus, but he was THE STAR!! He could sing, dance, act, turn women to mush, you name it. (naturally, had to grab the camera for a blog pic!) And Les, being the ever-confident pro he is, obliged me!

Les sweet-talked the lady in the convenience store at Luke's to come outside and snap this shot! - (and good job too, I might add! - much better than the paramedic "non-pic"!)
We caught up about everything (including cancer). He's still in "showbiz", recording music, not sure what, but hope to find out! After saying goodbye, I was about to head in for milk, when I saw him taking off on the motorcycle. Just ONE more shot before you go!

Les! - Thanks for helping make this a knock-it-out-of-the-park day from start to finish!