Sad, crazy, wild, fun tymz

November 13/12.

Time to fix the hair again. Yep. Long-awaited appointment with Paul ("Master Stylist") Taylor at I 'N I Salon on Bloor Street West at Bathurst. The place was all decorated for the season, (except for me, looking more like leftover Halloween candy). Paul didn't even dare look!

Once more with feeling Paul, OK?? You can DO it! Stay strong!

The beautiful Jennifer Porritt, (who owns the salon, and is a brilliant hair stylist), brought in a friend of hers over the weekend, - an event planner,

to put up some special sparkly decorations.

LOVE the original idea of upside down Christmas trees hanging from the ceiling! (Auntie Ray would have whole-heartedly approved!)

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And I'm a sucker for shimmery silver!

Everywhere!

I used one of the decorations to camouflage my low-light silver foils! WTF??

Two hours later & Paul's Christmas magic was finished. Voila! - Deck them halls, I was put back together! Like Humpty Dumpty.
LOVE the Mad Men, flippy dippy '60s curls! Bring on the scotch-on-the-rocks, the shaken-not-stirred Martinis and mad (not mild) Manhattans! - Cheers!

Hey, forgot to say, Paul also dyed my eyebrows for the first time! Who knew I'd ever do THAT? I kinda looked like Beau Bridges for a while, but the colour turned out perfect -

just like my own colour in the good old days!

Then it was off to Urban Nails to fix that horrible syndrome known as "cracked shellac".

The lovely, talented, soft-spoken Tran, offered to spend an hour with me, "acetoning" off the old stuff, preparing the nail beds, (sounds like a horror movie!), filing, shaping and

painting on three coats of my fave colour, Rosebud -  plus the "shiny buff" on top, till I could almost pass for a hand model! I'm ready to party! (so WHERE'S the bash?? --

- better call Jaymz Bee!)

OK. What else has happened over the past 10 days?  Let's see if I can remember!

Right! Did my first bit of Christmas shopping at Shoppers Drug Mart. Got some Christmas and Hannukah cards and actually checked out the "high end" aisle! - NEVER DO THAT! Didn't buy anything, but spritzed myself with expensive Chanel perfume. Asked the sales lady - how much is the smallest bottle of this stuff? She told me, 80 bucks. Alrighty then. Moving on.

Their front-of-store Christmas tree left a lot to be desired. Ai carumba. Looks like it just got unfolded from the box and needs more decorations. Come on Shoppers! Spend a little! Jazz it up man!

Another day, we headed for The Mandarin for a buffet lunch.

Took my Dad-in-law, Ben Bornstein out for a visit and a feast!

He had some fun trying on Max's "John Lennon" cap, (lookin' good!) -

and seemed to enjoy hanging out with his grandchildren, despite missing Bubie, who passed away just under a month ago. Dad requested some take-out clam chowder to have later for dinner! (they DO make great soup at the Mandarin! Well, let's face it, EVERYTHING there is great!) My fortune cookie said I should smile more. Ha ha! Will try.

Goodbye goldfish and fake ducks!

See you next time!

On November 7th, Sam gave me a birthday gift - a pair of tickets for Kate and me to see La Cage at the Royal Alex! Fabulous seats in Row C!

We went out for lunch at Tim Hortons on King Street West and then asked a passerby to take a shot of us in front of a truck, carting a huge metal horse,

in honour of War Horse, also playing downtown. (Haven't seen it, but everyone says it's brilliant)!

We were really excited to see this big musical production and got such a laugh when a man in drag came out to entertain us all before curtain time.

She introduced herself as "Lily Whiteass" and did a fabulous adlib/improv cold opening. Kate was the youngest person in the audience! The oldest, was 90! (No WONDER they weren't giving standing ovations! - Hey, I'm only quoting Lily here!) Got in BIG trouble for shooting this pic. (yet ANOTHER case of Auntie Ray's instruction - "Don't ask. Apologize later!") - Lily did a FAB job warming up the crowd!

George Hamilton (the "big name" in the show) was the weakest link. Didn't matter though, because Christopher Sieber - ("Albin") was absolutely breathtakingly bold and beautiful!

His version of I Am What I Am was incredible.

When I got home from the theatre, had to come up with a quick dinner for Max and his girlfriend, Robyn. Made PC Shepherd's Pie. (so easy, and SO good). Had strawberries and whipped cream for dessert. Max made me laugh by pointing to his mouth and indicating he wanted a spritz of cream in it. (something I used to do when he was a little tyke). He took a shot of whipped cream, right in the middle of eating Shepherd's Pie! Ai yi yi. Gak. Egad. Yikes. Gag me. Ha ha!

The next day, off to Gerrard Square to pick up a bunch of things.

Surprised to see Zellers was gone and Walmart in its place. Took a pic out front and then went inside to check it out. FAR from put together, but the doors were open to the public. My very first introduction to the store was the shrill voice of a woman, sitting at a desk just inside the entrance. She must have seen me shoot the photo outside. She yelled out to me, "NO PICTURES INSIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I thought to myself, - nice welcome to the brand new store! OK LADY! Thanks for your hospitality. Be back to see you soon. (not)!

Hightailed it outta there immediately and headed for Home Depot (where they are MUCH more customer-friendly).

Saw some terrific Christmas toys I could hardly resist. - Awwwwwwwwwww - Alvin! - OK Dave!!

Elves who have been to practice to learn how to wiggle their ears, chuckle warmly and go, "Hee-hee" and "Ho-ho" - and important stuff like that!

And Santa, on the verge of cancelling Christmas! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Did I buy any of these famous and familiar characters? - I'll let you guess!)

Another day, I decided the weather was nice enough to go for a run on the Riverdale track. Headed out, hoping to beat my record of 8 laps. But hadn't run for more than 25 days (lack of motivation after the loss of my Mum-in-law), so, could only make it to 5 - (2,000 metres). Better than nothing.

Later that evening, drove my daughter, Kate, to see Amanda Palmer at the Phoenix Concert Theatre on Sherbourne with her boyfriend, Damian. I thought Kate looked gorgeous! She says it was a terrific show!

The next day, more errands and shopping on the Danforth. We hit up Loblaws, Shoppers (yep, again), and the weather was stunning!

On Remembrance Day,

watched the CBC TV coverage with host Peter Mansbridge.

 Excellent and emotional, with many shots of the vets.

Stood for the two minutes silence, (as we always used to do with Mum, every November 11th). Had tears in my eyes thinking of the veterans, their families and of all the family members we've lost over the past two years - Mum, Ray, Ev and Jean.

After all the sadness of November 11th, I was happy when my sister, Carrie, dropped by unexpectedly the next day, at our place for a visit. She'd been doing a photo shoot for Tafelmusik and had professional makeup and hair done for the occasion. - For anyone who doesn't know, Carrie is the perfect sister. (duh)

We had tea and cookies together, and before she left, I dragged her down to the basement to hear her nephew, Max and his band mates, Emmett

and Charles, in rehearsal.

Carrie wore noise-cancelling headphones to shut out the ear-shattering sound! I didn't even wear earplugs as I took these shots, (but I should have). LOVE the poster of Alan Alda which Max ordered and paid for himself, as a super M*A*S*H fan. (Hawkeye can inspire anyone)!!

The band - Ghost Daze, wouldn't let Carrie go, without giving her what THEY call their "cheesey" smile and wave! Adios amigos! - The band is recording a 6-song EP on December 8th. Can't wait!

September Daze

September 1/12

It's alarming how tough it is to write a blog when you have a job! I've been screening TIFF films for Tribute Entertainment in advance of the festival, opening September 6th. Between the movies and real life, (I seem to be stuck in REEL life), just haven't had time or energy to post entries.

Went out at 8:15 this morning to run and try to relieve stress. Hit my record of six laps again (just shy of 1.5 miles).

When I first started this blog back in February of 2011 at the time of my breast cancer diagnosis, I vowed to "tell it like it is, with no candy coating". That's how it played out for a long while, but lately, I haven't been writing that way. I think I've been covering up the truth because I don't like admitting how I really feel.

The above pic was taken in June of 2011, just six weeks after my cancer surgery. It's in front of Hugh's Room for a Marc Jordan concert.

Posing with singer/songwriter Marc Jordan

I was feeling great, my "Intensity Entity" level was off the charts. Energy was up up up and the feeling of well-being was fab! It lasted for months. But I guess what goes up, must come down. A revving engine can't rev forever! At some point, the super-charged excitement (which I chalked up to renewed vitality due to a second chance at life), came crashing down and morphed into a form of severe anxiety and sudden fear. It resulted in weight loss (at one point, down to 90 pounds), heart palpitations and over the top unease. I try to manage it, but nothing seems to control it. Not running, not a shrink, not drugs.

I decided to accept a short-term job with Tribute, helping to cover the Festival, thinking work might help, but I've only succeeded in making things worse. Though I try to hide it with makeup, humour and an easy-going attitude, it's all a sham. Can't explain it. Only know the deaths I've faced over the past year and a half or so haven't helped. I feel lost, filled with fear and unable to cope. So there it is. Back to no candy coating.

What have I been doing? Travelling to screenings, sometimes by TTC, mostly by car,

looking after a big house, grocery shopping, keeping kids (Max and Kate) fed, visiting people,

looking after the many growing needs of our elderly cat Tru (a Devon Rex),

keeping up with the garbage and recycling patrol, (constantly having to jump inside the bin to compact all the cartons and cans),

more stress-reducing running on the track whenever I get the chance,

spending hours at The Varsity Theatre inside the Manulife Centre,

getting there early to sign in,

talk to publicists, chat with other journalists and think about the interviews I'll be doing all throughout the 10-day festival. (The last Toronto International Film Festival I covered was a decade ago. A lot has changed. The reporters I meet seem to be speaking a whole different language, so my former nerves of steel are all bent out of shape),

killing time between screenings by visiting Indigo,

checking out the latest displays, like this tribute to Marilyn Monroe,

watching various rallies and/or protests in the Bay & Bloor area,

heading to the TIFF Bell Lightbox Theatre for more screenings,

and cleaning out my clothing closet, trying to find something - (anything),

that looks professional enough to go to work in!

And of course, going back to work also involves "upkeep"! Made another trek to hair master extraordinaire Paul Taylor at I 'N I salon. When I arrived, he had fingers crossed that he could pull off his magic again!

As my Dad always says, "It's ALL maintenance!" - Hey, it takes guts to show a picture like this. Colour, foil highlights, lowlights, colour, you name it! Above is about what I would have looked like had I needed chemo and lost all my hair. (now you know why I wear bangs! Gag me!) And in MORE infamous words, (to quote Paul), when it comes to me and my hair, "It's all about the fringe"! You better believe it!

In the end, we were BOTH happy with the results!

Ta da!

To be crude, Paul can't COUNT the number of times he's been told by clients that he does a great blowjob!

(he's much more genteel-like and prefers to say, "It's all in the blow-out!") Thanks Paul! See you again on September 20th and we'll do it all again. It's a date! ha ha!

Next, off to Urban Nails to get a shellac manicure. Trying to hold it together here. (if only I could shellac my nerves, I'd be all set!)

I've been back numerous times to the TIFF Lightbox - LOVE the red sky-high upstairs office on the way into the theatres. Would really like to see what's inside sometime!

They have some great, light-filled areas to explore - like this bar,

with terrific views of the many restaurants

on King Street West. (so far, the only one I've had time to frequent was Tim Horton's!)

Although I DID have time for a short tea break at the TIFF cafe the other day with my old pal, Ola Sturik! SO good to see her. Ola used to fill in for me in the entertainment department during my maternity leaves at Global TV, so we've known each other 20 years, but this was the first time I've seen her in as long as I can remember. I asked a million questions and she gave me a crash course on interviewing celebs to calm my anxieties after a decade out of the TV biz! She's a sweetheart and as lovely as ever. I can't believe the way the business has evolved since I left.

As much as I WANT to do a good job at the Festival (starting Thursday), my confidence is out the window and my fear of the unknown has kicked in just as much as it used to back on the first day of school. I always cried my eyes out as a kid and even as a teen, every Labour Day night because I was so petrified. My poor Mum had to deal with it. When I'd get up in the morning I would tell her, "It SMELLS nervous outside." Now, without her, I've been relying on some good friends to hold me together. You know who you are! Thank you for the advice, kindness, encouragement, love and laughs.