Lain's Log

Hurt So Bad

May 4/11

Little Anthony once said, - Hurt So Bad. (know what you mean Little A!)

Woke up at 6 a.m. in SUCH pain. Guess everybody is pretty damn sick of hearing me say this, but from the very beginning, my goal here has been to tell it like it is, and this IS. Had to go for the Breakfast of Champions again, two Percocet, half a Gravol and a Colace with juice. Put out the garbage, - earliest ever, since I had nothing ELSE better to do, (like SLEEP!) Going to listen to Dave (NEWSTALK 1010) on the 7 a.m. news, then back to bed and just hope the pills kick in for a while.

I suppose the visit to the Doc yesterday was at least a bit reassuring, but it sure doesn't take away the pain.

Still can't drive (obviously - when I'm on heavy meds!), so the kids continue to be on their own for transportation. They've become outstanding at TTCing it or walking around town.

Had a very nice birthday dinner for Sam last night, which I cooked. Roast beef, gravy, rice and veggies. (all items I picked out and had delivered the other day from Foodland (formerly IGA) on the Danforth. Handy service when you can't carry huge cartloads of groceries home!

I'm trying so hard to lead a normal life, but it's tough when every move hurts. As one amazing guest on Oprah once explained, "You just have to walk THROUGH the pain."

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At May 5, 2011 at 8:51 a.m. , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is the pain you are experiencing to be expected after your operation? You have been through so much agony. My doctor has told me that the mild pain will subside after a few days. I'm terrified!

At May 5, 2011 at 9:06 a.m. , Anonymous Elaine Loring said...

Since this message from someone I know? Just curious.
A couple of things. First of all, as you know from reading this blog, I was certainly terrified too, all the way along, about every procedure, especially the surgery.
What I've learned is, that though each test and step along the way IS very scary, you DO get through it, one bit at at time, because you HAVE to and you'd rather live, right? So, it is "doable", but you have to force yourself to get through it to the other side.

Secondly, from what I've heard, the pain I've encountered is not necessarily "the norm". My friend, Cynthia Mulligan (from CITYNEWS), said she did NOT have the experience that I've had with the pain. In fact, on her first day home, she went for a two hour walk in the Beaches and says she only took pain pills on the very first night! My own surgeon (Dr. McCready) told me, (as you may have read here), that, "This procedure is not generally associated with a lot of pain". And he should know, from all the many women he's treated! But, I guess, every now and then, there's someone like me! And though, yes, it's been excruciating at times, I ASKED for and GOT good drugs, (Percocet, GabaPentin for any nerve pain and Colace - which helps with constipation, which can be brought on by the Percocet). If you are going to have surgery, be sure to request what you want. (I told them Tylenol #3, which they wanted to give me), was not strong enough for me. And I've found the Percocet helped IMMENSELY. (but again, that's just me). Are you going to Princess Margaret? Mt. Sinai? (or are you in another city??)
Whatever and where ever, I wish you the VERY best! And you WILL get through it!
Prayers and love to you.

At May 5, 2011 at 10:20 a.m. , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Elaine. I just discovered your blog a couple of days ago and appreciate that you don't sugarcoat anything. I think every woman who is diagnosed with breast cancer is petrified. I'm going to Women's College next week for the same. Thank you for all of your recommendations and words of encouragment. We will get through this because we have to.
Prayers and love to you too.

At May 5, 2011 at 10:57 a.m. , Anonymous Elaine Loring said...

This STUPID comment system suddenly started asking me about profiles and making me put in weird words that I can't even figure out. No WONDER people have trouble sending me messages!
Will try again before it deletes me again!
By any chance, are you going to
Dr. Tulin Cil?

My GP first wanted to send me to her, but since I knew nothing about ANY breast surgeon in Toronto, I wanted to do research and ended up deciding, that in my particular case, I would feel more comfortable going to Dr. McCready - and thankfully, that worked out.

But in the course of my research and in speaking to MANY people, including professionals in the medical field, I learned that Dr. Cil is superb (as are the other surgeons at Women's College).

If you'd like to write to me personally, you can write to:

I am quite sure you will have a good experience (or, as good as breast cancer can be). I KNOW how terrifying it all is (and you've seen my blog mascot - The Cowardly Lion) - NO ONE could be more cowardly than me, and yet, somehow, I did it. (so far). With much more to go - including learning news of the pathology test on May 13th and radiation.

All the very best to you next week. You'll do great. Write and tell me YOUR experience anytime!



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