Lain's Log

First day home

April 28/11

What a crazy 24 hours. Before leaving the hospital, I was given two Percocets. By the time I got home, about half an hour later, was so happy to find the pills worked very well - in fact, much better than the Morphine drip for the pain. I was able to relax on the couch for a while, and actually slept a bit. (even though it meant missing the singing performance of James, my fave guy on Idol). Later, my son, Max, offered to help get me upstairs to bed. I was so dizzy and nauseous. He grabbed the meds and a gingerale and followed me up the stairs to be sure I made it. Then he helped me get into a bathrobe and I eased, gingerly into bed, which was quite a challenge, and then, arranged a big fluffy pillow under my arm to stop the incisions from pressing down anywhere. Next thing I knew, it was morning and I had slept for about 8 hours. Hallelujah!

Early today, the pain was very intense, but not quite as bad as yesterday. I took two Percocets, but by 10 a.m., was feeling another strange kind of pain. I'll be frank here - why the hell not? I've talked about everything else in the book. Won't stop now. Went to a mirror to look at the bandaging/dressing (which I hadn't really checked out before). Was surprised to see it covered almost the entire breast - like I was wearing half a bra, and went right up under the arm (where the nodes were taken).

But more surprising that that, was the size of the breast! With all the surgery and the amount of tissue taken, I was expecting something much smaller! But this boob now looks like a Pamela Anderson implant! Finally figured out it was massive swelling! No one had warned me of this, nor had I read about swelling in any of my research or seen it in any of my books.
(guess I was too busy reading about pain!)

Looked it up in the Dr. Susan Love Breast Book, and swelling isn't even in the INDEX! What the heck? Checked it out online and discovered that swelling is very common, especially for women who have had lymph nodes removed - but NOT so common for those who only had Sentinel lymph nodes taken. (naturally, I have to be different!)

I know this won't last, but it's been sort fun, in a weird way, to think that I'm now "bigger" than before! Once the swelling dies down and the dressing comes off, I guess I'm in for another big shock, but for now, look out Pammy! hee hee

Flowers from friends!

I received so many nice things today - gorgeous flowers from several friends and family members, (thank you Mary, Danielle, Debbie, Jan, Arlen, Sean and Robin!), gourmet mac and cheese delivered for dinner tonight from my beautiful cousin, Marilyn, a gift card for Mastercard so we can order in dinner and no one will have to cook, (thankyou Sarah and Jason!), a beautiful get-well card from my Dad, phone calls, emails, Facebook messages, etc.

I want to thank a special friend who has helped me through this since day one (she knows who she is!) She's very private, so won't mention her name, but will say thank you for ALL the hysterical laughs (and for sharing the tears).

My doctor friend Karen, in Michigan, has helped me with so much medical info and advice and I thank her for being there, and of course, to my best friends, Franelle and Joanne (and her husband, Bruce), who have been there for "daily updates" and given me so much support - (in ways I can't even describe here!), and in the case of Bruce, (Emmy winning comedy writer), - TONS of laughs. He's been going through his OWN pain, after breaking a finger. His hand has been wrapped up as tightly as my boob! Hope they can straighten it out for you Bruce!

Caught up with my high school pal, Jeffrey, who surprised me with messages and phone calls which cheered me immensely.

Have also been exchanging incredible emails with an old and special friend I never expected to catch up with again in my life and it's just been a "blastola" (a word I stole from Tom Hanks after he used it in an interview with me many years ago). Hugs to you!

I can't name everyone here, just too many, but all my family and friends have been rooting for me and I'm quite sure you have ALL played a role in getting me to this point!

I won't see my surgeon again until May 13th, after the pathology tests are in. Only then will I learn if they "got it all" or if I have to face more surgery. Seems like a long way off.

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